If you have a legit business, any bank in your town will give you a SBA loan. If you use it for payroll, employee benefits and legit business expenses to carry you through (building rent, etc) the loan becomes a grant you don't have to pay back. How can you not know this? Go talk to your bank, dummie!
What do you mean? The closed banks have special lobby hours just for this! And they have the loan applications available on their websites. You get the loans from local banks, not the SBA ffs!
Stop with the BS putdowns. I doubt you have a business or even a job. What you are saying is JUST YOU! I have four friends with REAL businesses who had no trouble getting the loans with their REAL banks in hours! I have owned my own home and land for 30 years, kid!