This is me, your story teller,

With a tale of one dumb fella,

Who deep down was really yeller

Red Text was his name.

 

(whip crack noises)

 

He came to the 8kun site,

He thought it was really shite,

He said "I'll just add some bite!"

Red Text was his name.

 

(Yee hawww!)

 

He began to bitch and whine,

This is how he passed his time,

His kvetching seemed so really fine

Red Text was his name.

 

(six gun noises)

 

He saw his first plans fall flat,

He said, "That's enough of that,

My new plan will fix up all that",

Red Text was his name.

 

(horse noises)

 

He began some loud doubtfaggin',

shillin' and some carpet baggin',

But his plans kept on their flaggin',

Red Text was his name.

 

(Red Indian whoops)

 

He began to shill and slide,

It made him feel all warm, inside,

Anons handed him his hide,

Red Text was his name.

 

For three years he kept up his tricks,

The Anon's plans he tried to fix,

They told him "Eat a bag of dicks!"

Red Text was his name.

 

(coyote howls)

 

For three long years he fought and fought

But all his plans all came to nought,

"I've wasted all my time!" he thought,

Red Text was his name.

 

(banjo solo)

 

Then one day there came a knock,

upon his door, he had a shock,

He's in a cell with a huge lock,

Red Text was his name.

 

Now he sits there all the while,

Until his name comes up for trial,

He's goin' down for quite a while,

Red Text was his name.

 

(Round 'em up, Sherrif!)