Accentuate the Positives:
Can you really talk yourself into, or out of, a mood or way of thinking? Most people don’t think so. But, short of a frank mental illness (like paranoia), the answer is "yes you can."
I recently gave this example on my SiriusXM Chanel 111 radio program to a caller struggling with this issue. She said she just couldn’t get the negative stuff about an experience with her otherwise wonderful spouse out of her head.
I asked her: "How do you think you would feel about your husband after getting together with a bunch of married women friends who spent two hours over coffee and doughnuts badmouthing their husbands? When you went home do you think you would feel predisposed to hug him with a big slurpy kiss?"
She responded, as you might imagine, "No."
I continued, "OK. Let’s look at what you would feel about your husband after getting together with a bunch of married women friends who spent two hours over coffee and doughnuts praising their husbands. When you went home, do you think you would feel predisposed to hug him with a big slurpy kiss?
She responded, as you might imagine, "Yes."
See?
We can change our feelings and perspectives quite readily by what we choose to focus on.
I tried something on the air with another caller. She told me that in spite of years of therapy and everything else she could try, she would still get sad over sometimes seemingly not much at all.
I asked her what kind of music she loved — music that would make her feel like moving or dancing. She picked a band I had not heard of, but happily my engineer, Carson Smith, knows everything music. He instantly found it and started playing it.
I asked her to stand up (remember, this is radio) and start dancing. She hesitated only briefly and then I could hear by the noise and the sound of increased breathing that she was dancing.
Hello endorphins.
She and I kept talking and she began laughing and chatting. After 30 seconds I asked her what happened to those gray thoughts.
She related that she had no idea.
She just felt good.
OK, now for you folks reading: Think of a huge elephant.
Good.
Now, thinking of a delicate butterfly hovering over a flower. Now an elephant. Now a butterfly.
Nice, huh?
You can’t really be in two places at once.
That is why meditation, yoga, certain kinds of activities, reading an engrossing book, or being mesmerized by a wonderful film can take you away.
Personally, when I am racing my sailboat or dancing to Motown, everything else slips away.
Hopefully, you will take note of the times that some "distraction" was simply the best medicine for changing a mood that may or may not be related to something sad or upsetting in your life.
You do have the power to shift your attention and bring yourself peace.
https://www.newsmax.com/drlaura/spouse-music-motown-negative/2020/04/19/id/963567/