DATELINE: MAY 2029

Speaker of the House Baron Trump notified President Ivanka Trump that the investigation into the investigation of the FBI handling of the Clinton Email Scandal is reaching preliminary conclusions that are being reviewed by FBI Director Chelsea Clinton. Speaking from her subterranean lifesupport vat in New Zealand, a hologram of Hillary Clinton proclaimed the partisan witch hunt was finally almost over. Breaking a precedent, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Michael Avenatti spoken openly about the pending matter, saying "10,000 chickens to Moloch and we did it, America". Meanwhile, talks are said to be making progress with the Chinese Liberation Army in San Francisco. They previously agreed to return the West Coast to the U.S., invaded in the aftermath of the 2nd COVID wave. Now, they are demanding the U.S. take it back immediately. "These shitty streets are disgusting and these social justice people never shut up. Please let us go back to China."