im in a similar boat anon.
let me tell you something. i know what you're going through right now and there will come a day when you are scrolling this feed and laughing again. it will pass.
I always wanted a family myself anon. The women I picked seemed all nice and innocent but ended up being demon-cunts in disguise. So far, no family for me. Literally all I ever wanted was a good relationship with a woman who wasn't fucking crazy.
I feel your pain dude. I really do. Fucking hang in there God has a plan for you and you will figure it out man.
BTW don't feel bad later this week because you posted something emotional on 8ch. Most of us who have been at this a while have had multiple breakdowns and reached out for help here. This shit is NOT EASY. The world is fucked up, not you.
We need you friend. You can't see it but we do. Hang in there.