thank you, I almost got the sex abuse treatment when my mother tried to give me to the perverts, but the "close your eyes game" I opened them just before getting into his car and got away…. but they don't stop just because they screw an attempt up, I'm not even sure about so much of my past now or whether I should just go back to trying to forget it or try and get past it… I don't want to wallow in self pity, that's for sure… and I only just recently realized through Q in the past couple of weeks my deeper connection and that all the abuse and manipulations and near death experiences suddenly were not accidents and bad luck, it all made perfect sense when I found a bunch of old photos.
All the stuff I had been researching led back to me and the codes I had built thousands of folders of research on… I had this whole series of AB: and suddenly I'm faced with me as a child wearing a shirt with those same letters…. and that most of my family had been in on a sick joke about keeping me blind and stupid to everything…. I feel like I should try and talk to people like me and so I appreciate that there is in fact someone out there who was already doing that. I live in my own little bubble and don't know anyone or talk to anyone, I only have ever had a single friend, but I have to change myself and the keys to the future for us all may lie in the past… I don't want to be this way anymore.