>>9807955 lb

Praying for you anon.

I know it may not solve anything in the worldly dimension, but I pray you experience supernatural inner contentment in your soul (a peace that is beyond human understanding), and remember that God's chosen & approved people are usually given a harder life to grow through. Just the opposite of being a forgotten failure (which is what the sick world wants you to think), you may actually be winning a great eternal victory by proving you are one of God's few who are able to live through something like that. All our suffering is being rewarded in the spiritual dimension that is not restricted by time and will never be lost. This, and 'wonders beyond what the human mind can imagine' will be yours at the time God determines.

Never stop valuing yourself or believing that God values you, even if He is not rewarding you with earthly material comforts right now. Take care of yourself and just make it through another day. I'm talking to myself as much as you, anon. God help us both.

Look through Hebrews 11 when you can:

I do not have time to tell all the details about [all the heros of our faith] and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the raging fire, and escaped the edge of the sword; who gained strength from weakness, became mighty in battle, and put foreign armies to flight.

Others were tortured and refused their release, so that they might gain a more glorious resurrection. Still others endured mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawed in two, they were put to death by the sword. Having only animal skins for clothing, they went around destitute, oppressed, and mistreated. The world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and hid in caves and holes in the ground.

These were all commended for their great faith, yet even they did not experience what was promised [the coming of the Savior and the Holy Spirit, which we are so blessed with].