tfw Lafawnduh from Detroit, descended from chiseled 6’6” workhorses selectively bred to harvest the sweltering Alabama plantations, will never match with you on the dating app you use

> tfw she will never order you to shut da hell up and get yo peckawood ass on the goddam bed for some lovin

> tfw your nose will never feel like it’s gonna break as she grinds her stubbly, medium-steak mound onto your face with extreme, vindictive prejudice, and all you can feebly whimper is a muffled “I can’t breathe”

> tfw your pelvis will never feel irreparably warped as she rides you with expert gyration, while you imagine yourself as a hard nigga for a fleeting instant because she chose you over the thugs in her neighborhood, before you realize she’s actually jonesing for those pretty-guinea, light-skin, IQ-increasing genes you can’t help but empty into her in that position

> tfw ywn have a ride-or-die bottom bitch like her, head high with confidence from rock-bottom WMBF divorce statistics

Life is truly suffering, on an existential level