Whatever it is we do here, I like doing it, and it's important to me. I haven't put this many all-nighters into anything.
I can't tell anybody this because they'd think I was nuts…but this my job. I consider it as such. I make scheduling decisions based around it. I check notables and qmap as soon as I wake up. I feel like I failed if I don't check in daily. I've genuinely worked on getting better at it. Most of my phone's memory is put towards it. I spend hours thinking about what I post here before I post it. I lurk endlessly. I think about it when I watch the news or unrelated media, and when I go about daily life.
I'm not really good at anything, but I care a lot about this movement and I've put a lot of myself into it. It's never been a LARP and I've been tryhard about this the whole way.
I don't think I could tell my family or friends that this is how I feel or what I spend so much time doing, but I think you autists get it.
Rambling now. /nightshift/, let's do this thing.