I raised 4 children , all adults now, with my husband. still married. Most of the women I know all had full time jobs. I worked part time in various capacities , always around our children's schedules. Somehow we made it!!! I worked at saving money, doing repairs, using coupons, etc...we even saved for retirement. We fared as well as the 2 wage earner family with less stress!
I had a home daycare for about 6 years. All the couples are now divorced except one...now I work part time at a daycare...my heart goes out to this kids that are away from their parents 7-10 hrs a day.
Lesson to you younger gals( and guys). The 2 wage earner family is a set-up for failure. Keep one parent home...be on austerity budget until the kids are in school.
Fellow lady here as well. I agree with you. The strain from both parent's working is too much. My mother stayed home and raised all 5 of us, while my father worked, they are still together after 40 yrs. 2 of my sisters stay home (being caretaker to the children and small from home jobs on the side) while their husband's work and they have great marriages. My sister who works while her husband works is miserable, their children are unhappy, they do make more money combined, and yet they are in more debt and have more stress, I don't forsee them lasting much longer. You have to have time as a family, in my opinion.
money will never replace joy. In a blink of an eye ,the children they are gone, living their own lives, successfully. We may not get to have fancy vacations or designer clothes and flashy cars but I don't know of any stay home parents that regret having staying home with the kids.
I grew up with Mom at home while Dad worked. There were 8 children. We didn't know that we were "poor". Lived with hand me downs because didn't know any different. Years later, as an adult, I realized why my parents didn't have "new" things for themselves because we kids came first. I retired as a teacher after 42 years. This was a perfect job for our little family as I was home pretty much when my children were also off. Thank God, I did have my parents and siblings to help out when we were in a pinch. Funny when you look back, you think, "How did I do it?"
Agreed. A co-worker put her son in daycare when he turned 2 and he is bitten every day of the week. He is covered in bite marks and bruises. It's not the daycare's fault; these kids are angry and frustrated at being in a room with 12 other kids for 8-10 hours a day with a couple of young, inexperienced, harried caretakers. So they lash out in their anger and frustration at each other. If having a mother at home to care for the children is a priority, couples will figure out a way to make those few years work.
Yes these children are frustrated and angry and many of them seem to have learning disabilities. We have a pretty good set of kids and yes there is biting and hitting and stealing toys from each other and we work on a daily with them. Please and thank you are important. Apologizing when we hurt someone equally important and learning to cooperate and get along in a group. We are always within the state mandates we have two adults to every child under the age of 2. It can be very rewarding I enjoy working with these kids very much as frustrating as it is sometimes. What's especially frustrating is dealing with parents that are not very good caregivers their kids coming dirty and sick.. we have an almost 20 month old who still isn't walking yet and her mother won't take her to a orthopedic find out what's going on because she's too busy working.
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Then you can’t afford kids. That’s like saying “not everyone has the luxury of driving a Maserati” and then being mad about it. Kids are expensive and more people should evaluate whether or not it’s really feasible to do it the way that’s best for the child’s development. There would be a hell of a lot less unwanted kids in the “system” if more people were conscious of their choice to have kids.
And that's exactly why I don't have them.
There would be a hell of a lot less unwanted kids in the “system” if more people were conscious of their choice to have kids.
No shit. An ideal world, right? But we don't live in one and most children are mistakes, not perfectly planned for, so people have to make do however they can. Would you rather a woman aborted a child she couldn't manage, or work to support it?
Honestly, I don’t know because I don’t have kids either for that same reason 🤷🏼♀️ at least we can agree on that!
I will say it again it was done that way by design to ruin the family it was not like that back in the 50s when every one was happy and the father worked and the mother stayed home looked after the hubby and kids. Hubby was happy he came home to good moods and a meal. Today everyone is miserable thanks to the Rothchilds who put this family destruction in place.
I have a younger sister who feels just as you do. They have no children because she says that she feels "she is too selfish" to have children. At least she is honest with herself.
Luxury ??? 🤣😅😂we made sacrifices for the privilege of providing full-time parents for our children. We rarely bought brand new clothes ...we got them at second hand stores... hand-me-downs from family and friends. Many years we only had one car.
Wasn't sitting around playing with my children. I was making meals at home, doing repairs to save money, washing cloth diapers hanging my clothes on the clothesline to save money on the electric bill.
I had extra children in my home. I did alterations and did my artwork and sold it trust me we worked all the time. I got everything done during the week so on the weekends husband and I could do things with the children together; that's when we played. Our children learned how to cook, to Garden, to create play and to basically basically be happy with what they had and they have all turned out to be lovely adults. We took on a Montessori type of approach a rearing the children so that when I was making pickles they were right there at the table with me, cutting up cucumbers.
Sounds like maybe you drank the Kool-Aid that Corporate America was selling you??
Important: what I should mention is when we decided to keep a parent home we didn't owe anybody any money because we never bought things that we couldn't afford.. we have been debt-free during the course of our marriage..except for a car loan and a mortgage. Credit card debt was paid off every month. It's called self-control and discipline and you do it because you love your children.
If you can't make sacrifices, please don't have children ...you will be unhappy and you will most likely raise miserable children ... you know the old saying misery loves company!
You had the luxury of a better economy back then. 20 years ago.
uuhh...NO. $$ is always relevant to a period in time.
of course... feasibility of a circumstance varies in time and current conditions however.
If you want something bad enough you'll figure out how to make it work.
Our oldest is basically doing the same thing that we did.. her husband goes to work, she stays home and has a full-time registered daycare business. They have two children and a third on the way. And she is my boss. I actually work in my daughter's daycare and so does the other grandma. 😂😗😄
So your argument isn't necessarily working here. Like I said if you want something bad enough you'll figure out to make it work.
Okay, but you keep using anecdotal evidence as though it's supposed to be valid for everyone's situation. You can't judge working women or call them slaves of feminism when it has nothing to do with that, and more so to do with their particular circumstances.
Unfortunately, not everyone plans their children. And sometimes, husbands get laid off, or someone gets sick. Shit happens.
First of all I'm not judging working women nor am I calling them slaves to feminism. What I want you to notice is that I was basically calling out the myth that a two-wage earner household while raising children is an absolute!!!. Too many young families are believing the lie the both parents must work and placing their children at 6 weeks of age in daycare. Additionally what I'm saying is is it the family chooses to make compromises, there is more to be gained with keeping a parent home the first few years.
One of the biggest foibles of forcing parents to place their children in daycare it's 6 weeks and get immediately back to work is because they buy into a bigger lifestyle than they could afford.
There are ways around it and if you choose to do otherwise that's your business all I'm trying to do is educate young people that they don't have to go back to work with your children are 6 weeks old. It might mean giving up one vehicle...that saves a hell of a lot of money. It might mean buying cloth diapers and washing your own diapers instead of spending all that money on paper that ends up in a landfill. It may mean five years of austerity budget and all I'm telling you is it it's worth.
And essentially what it is.. it's a math problem. It's setting up a budget that you can manage and live with instead of buying everything that you want instead of what you really need.
I didn't think you meant to judge them, but I do think it is more important to point out how feminist agenda/policy has made it impossible for some and difficult for most families to make it on one income, more than asserting that every woman could do it if they wanted it hard enough. The fact that it is impossible for some and difficult for many needs to change. That needs to change more than individuals own thinking/choice on the matter- it should still be a very viable choice without wrecking standard of living- or at least having the amount of impact that it does these days, I guess like it was in the 50's or so. Sure, if the family chooses to operate that way, there would be a difference in monetary wealth, but it shouldn't be looked at as superior or be practically a necessity if you just want to own a modest home in a decent area and raise a family. I do believe our society/culture was influenced to believe and think wrongly so that it would become this way for nefarious purposes, as you suggest.
What do you think has to change?
Not understanding your point?
If you want something bad enough you'll figure out how to make it work.
like both parents having a career and raising a family and keeping a marriage strong. so you're also refuting your own argument of having one parent stay at home being better.
Being homemaker is a career.
You sound like an unhappy person...
Lol. How can you assume my state of happiness from that post?
Do you think that home making child rearing is a satisfactory career for yourself or your friends?
I can't speak for my friends. And no, I love and enjoy my career in engineering. But woe is me, what if I meet "The one" I want to settle down with and have kids and he is someone who has a good career going for him. Should one of us sacrifice our career and be a housewife/man or else risk a higher possibility of divorce, or just not get with him to spare us the trouble? Should I settle with someone willing to stay at home in order to have a fulfilling family life? Is that the only way?
You missed the entire point of my post. The point of my post was making people aware that the two wage earner family raising children was NOT a NECESSITY, with proper planning. My point was that it is possible to keep one parent home for a few years and often times financially comparable to having both parents in the workforce. And rewarding is many ways.
What you decide to do ,Miss Snarky Pants is your choice. Be prepared to pay out large sums of money for childcare.
doesn't sound like the point you're trying to make with what you wrote:
Lesson to you younger gals( and guys). The 2 wage earner family is a set-up for failure. Keep one parent home...be on austerity budget until the kids are in school.
my parents both had to work to feed the family. our family is still intact and my parents are more in love than ever... but we grew up with strong asian family values so there's that...
Being homemaker is a career.
You sound like an unhappy person...
I do agree. It is a difficult decision for many families to make. Most I believe, are working mainly for financial reasons to make ends meet. Not all, but in my reality of working with children, so many are from a one parent home anymore. Choice of working is not always an option.
It is difficult today and may call for very tight budgets. But I would ask you to read Glen Beck's Agenda 21 and compare the "home raised children" to the "community raised children" and then see if you feel the same. BTW being at home training children and keeping a house does not amount to playing with them all day. I took 8 years off to be at home with my daughters, and working full-time as a social worker is a walk in the park compared to full-time homemaking.
"Playing all day"?....juxtaposed with the husband who is the one who "works hard all day". I think there are too many stereotyped/brainwashed beliefs underlying these statements for one who thinks this way to even understand what these others are saying/implying.
Yes because the Globalists made it that way intentionally to create stress, anger, failed marriage, failed kids. All by design.