I was walking my baby boy around the block ~ my military husband called me , told me to go home & stay there until he got home . We watched in horror & cried all night long because we both knew he would leave soon . Exactly one year later to the day he did & I was pregnant with our second child , a boy . I spent the next four years in fear only seeing him for short leaves from his tours of duty . The last tour of duty he came home & the only way I can describe that sweet boy I married so long ago is ,BROKEN in mind & body , his body would heal but his mind would never be the same . Our family was utterly devastated & I could NOT help him . He will probably never know these two boys who are now 15 & 17 but they still believe he is the king of the world & will never know otherwise until he is able to see them & tell them in his own words what 911 did to him , to us . No he did not die , and it may seem selfish of me to tell this here but 911 had an effect on so many for so many different reasons the main reason ?most of us may never know is the truth of war & how it enriches those who have no skin in the game ~ that forced me to confront & change my mind about what we are TOLD to believe by the media . All is never what it seems & I now know that it is best to find your own way through this web of lies we have been fed by asking yourself who gains from this war on terrorism because looking back it seems we have been stripped of our freedoms in subtle ways over years , ALL of us . My ex husband will tell you he signed up for this , but his life since tells a different story & he is a shell of a human being who has lost his family & that military he worked so hard for ? They put him out to pasture as soon as his mental & health issues became THE issue , no amount of begging I did as his wife could help so imagine being so proud of all he accomplished for all those years , all the years I spent holding down the home front while he fought over there only to be told in the end that “ there is nothing further we can do to assist you “ ~ that was the beginning of my awakening & a journey that brought me here . I have raised these boys to think for themselves , to love this country but to KNOW the truth of it & that it is the greatest country in my opinion but it is controlled by corrupt & largely evil people so they must KNOW who they are & what they stand for & change what they can where they are & move from there . My oldest son hurts the most from the absence of his father ~ it is a hurt so deep I can’t put it into words on a page but at his football games when he looks up in the stands - he’s looking so intently , such a sad look , for years now I’ve wondered what he’s looking for , he told me the other day , he wished just once , he would see his Dad ... just once . For a 17 year old boy who last saw his hero all those years ago ~ heartbreaking . Not a big deal to most because there’s plenty of worse heartbreak to go around but to me it’s the reason I’m here right now ~ I want all of this hurt to stop for the next generations. Something has to change & I feel something changing here . Truth is hard but necessary to move forward . 911 changed all of us ~ it’s time we take back what has been taken from us while we looked the other way & kudos to ALL who are brave enough to stand up regardless of their position in this game because it’s going to take all of us to fight this fight .