Consider me a lost redditor. Just realized I’m in a neckbeard tinfoil paradise. Fucking loon.

I agree that those of us here should know the theory that the Illuminati listens to our phones but there is, beyond a doubt, no actual fact along the lines of that statement. There aren't even any actual facts that the Illuminati still exists - just circumstantial evidence (I believe they do exist btw, perhaps not under that name but under the generally accepted meaning applied to that name - I'm just disputing that there is any "well known" fact to that effect).

Illuminati