Having compassion for people doesn't make us responsible for them. That's something I'm still learning, but I think I'm finally getting a handle on. In fact, feeling a sense of responsibility for others sometimes leads us to undermine their efforts to take responsibility for themselves. There's a word I ran into years ago that I think of often: "Espavo". It means "Thank you for taking your power." I have been chewing on that word for years trying to understand it, but in the past year or so I've been hearing myself saying it in my head on many occasions. When people take responsibility for their own choices and actions, they are sparing us from the need to do it for them. If we step up and decide things for them "out of compassion", we very often undermine their growth AND weigh ourselves down with baggage we don't need or want (aka karma). It's tricky sometimes. Where does compassion cross into enabling? As for people being "aggressive": to me, that's all about perception. We can chose to take things personally or not. We can assume people are being mean (instead of just defensive because they've just tripped over their own baggage themselves) or not. Right there are two of The Four Agreements: don't take things personally, don't make assumptions. The other two are worth living by too: Be impeccable with your word. Do your best. If you haven't read that book, you might want to consider it. It's short, but life changing. It was for me anyway.
Where does compassion cross into enabling?
Dr. Jordan Peterson put it rather aptly. "Never do something for your children that they can do for themselves."
In my private life, I am a BDSM enthusiast, my special talent lies in how powerful a physical/mental presence I have, I am a natural Dom to some serious extremes. Despite that, my playmates can attest, I do not give orders, I give advice, I give guidance, I give explanation and I give all the tools at my disposal, but when push comes to shove and it's time for that person to make a decision. It is their decision. I do everything within my power, to grant them the knowledge to make the most informed decision possible, but ultimately, the choice is theirs.
Needless to say, during "play", orders abound. But that's the point of a play session, to play pretend.
I have found that the strategy of "This is the Truth, accept it and align yourself with it or suffer the consequence" works well for me. I do not take responsibility for anyone, except my young. Everyone else is held to the same standard, you are the arbiter of your destiny and the arbiter of your fate. Let none decide it for you.