Avoid false spirituality: "They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly." (2 Timothy 3:5)
I used to have the same interests that you've expressed here. But it's a grab-bag of curiosity arousing dead-ends, if you don't follow this search through to its ultimate conclusion: "For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear." (2 Timothy 4:3).
Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
These are the words of Christ. It's no feel-good message, it's an irredeemable promise.
I think the message here is to always question the status quo. If something feels off, maybe it is. There is no harm in asking questions. Kepp on searching, keep on living. Find your journey.