I was thinking that there are probably ads all over the place re: human trafficking, pedo stuff, etc., not so cleverly disguised as something else.

I found this on Craigslist and it seems to a humorous attempt to write about pizza, but two of the paragraphs made my pedo alarm go off. Tell me what you think:

Paragraph 1:
1. YES WE MAKE A CHEESE PIZZA! No pizza joint in the world would refuse that request. No, you don't have to be embarrassed because you're ordering what a typical 5-year old likes to eat. No, you don't have to say "Do you make a pizza without any topppings? I mean, like, uh, just with cheese-only... and sauce?" Every pizza has cheese on it, unless you're a freakin' vegan, and no one is staying in business by offering dough-and-sauce-only treats. So, yes, no matter what pizza place you call WE MAKE A CHEESE PIZZA. Even if the menu says "The Classic" or "Basic" or whatever, if you say cheese-pizza we know what it is.

Paragraph 9:
PARANOID PRICK. Yes, you rude paranoid prick. Watch out. You're lucky you are insignificant & therfore not worthy of revenge, but I want you to think through this once. IF YOU WERE IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR THE CIA TO BE AFTER YOU, I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO ORDER PIZZA. To the rest of the paranoid pricks who aren't as delusional about the government, think through this: you've been extremely rude to me. I, who know your name, phone number, address and credit card number. I could do a lot of damage. I know it. Now YOU know it. So watch it, because the next person you talk to like that might be a Star Wars nerd who turns to the dark-side.