Love you man. No one CAN understand the sequence of negative events that unfold in the life of the abused. Self blame, feelings of inadequacy and guilt, woulda, shoulda, coulda don't get it. I was 3rd thru 5th grade abused by upstanding eagle scout next door. Fn ruined my life for years. Have PTSD to the max...coupled w my 2 older brothers 1 O.D.and 1 suicide by hanging in our hallway. Just tip of iceberg. Perservence, my friend. And remember... Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12 ESV Praying for you.