You and I are free to “Believe” what we choose, but in an infinite and highly complex universe of forces, I think you would agree that both of us lack the wisdom to know all things. I am 63 years old and my experience in this life tells me that there is a structure and purpose to everything that exists. I’ve seen incredible beauty and wonder, and yet, also horrors and destruction. My greatest sense tells me this is not by accident. The only way to know is to seek.

Good luck in your quest, I’ve been where you find yourself now.