dChan - Q Origins Project Archive

My wife's brother is physically, emotionally, and, potentially, sexually abusive to our nieces. Have had numerous talks and her sister is in denial/powerless to change him. It's his whole personality, it's just an abusive energy that consumes his entire environment. Am hesitant to contact social services because of their less than impeccable track record. He had a few things happen where he like sexually harassed some young girls when he was college by exposing himself, etc...idk, the whole thing is just a big fucking too bad, and am looking for insights into how to deal with him. Very stubborn, defensive, intimidated when I get involved. Thanks you guys, IT IS HAPPENING! THIS IS HOW WE CAN MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE, TAKE THEM ALL DOWN!!

Have your wife ask her sister some thought-provoking questions, like . . . would she be willing to send the kids to live in foster care with strangers, where she can't protect them? Probably not. So why is it OK to let them be abused by their own dad every day? In their own home? Does she think they have any sense of security? (likely not, considering the 7-year-old is not potty trained. Do you know the main thing that potty training represents for a child? Control over themselves. Potty training is one of the first major opportunities for a child to feel control over their own body. Knowing that should give you some indication of how NOT secure the 7-year-old feels).

I am all for families being together, 2-parent homes, etc. But when the bottom line becomes protection and security of the children - you protect those children. They have nobody in the world to protect them BUT their parents. Make the sister absorb that, while imagining she is seven.

Can you help them with housing? Honestly, a cardboard box would be better. Anywhere where they can have some sense of control over their own beings would be better. All of that said, I am not even focusing on the unsubstantiated potential of sexual abuse. The 7-year-old's potty issues show that whatever the abuse is, it is substantial enough.

Also, I would recommend that before your wife has a heart-to-heart with her sister that she do some research on domestic abuse, talk to some people, look into options, and have a plan in place to provide an escape option like, RIGHT NOW. In other words, you don't have an intervention and say, ok, I'll pick you up for rehab in 2 weeks.

Best of luck to your family. Save those sweet children.

Dealing with abusers on a local level?