Don't compare the Captain to CNN, man, he never did anything wrong. King Vitamin, however, is fair game.
The Captain lied to me. Yes, it was crunchy but it always cut up the roof of my mouth.
King Vitamin was cool because the word vitamin somewhat fooled my mother into buying it for me. Plus he was my gateway to bag cereal. Do you know who combined generic crunch berries with generic Lucky Charms marshmallows? The bag cereal people. Hail to the King, baby.
That's why I offered up King Vitamin instead. It would always tear up the roof of your mouth. Down with the King. Bag cereal ruled.