I am with you Anon. We are all with you. I have been where you are on the path. I visit this place often unfortunately. I don't deny anything you have said. I can feel why you feel the way you do. I have lived where you are living. Its a rough spot and I still grapple with the distortion when I forget what I am. Living in the greatest lie ever told. We are bound to get sucked back in because everyone and everything is still participating. Its hard not to… It gets easier to manage with practice. Its a lonely place until you realize we are all with you. Its still a lonely place when you realize we are connected. Its up to you if you want to be in the game that's not a game. I am sick and tired of the games the lies the crimes against humanity. I don't like to participate either. I don't fight them. I create what I want to see. I create what I want to be. I write my own story. I don't give a shit about the other factions. I follow my heart and it is my truth in the mist of the lie.
I hope my experience helps in some way. We are all in this together. I think many of us on the breads know where you are coming from and we have your back. You are never alone.
Much love Anon