>>4597

Thank you for sharing your story Anon. It hit me pretty hard (in a good way) and it has taken me a while to write this story. I have been reflecting on this story for years. My story still continues to this day as I feel/hope it is not over yet.

I carry a lot of water as I BELIEVE we ALL do. Just because I can carry a lot of water doesn't mean I understand what I am carrying. I have so much to learn but it is my honor to carry the water I have for ALL of you. I’m not a teacher, expert or even an adviser. I am trying to use words that will never properly describe this experience. I hope I can share it and give it the justice it deserves. Please bare with me as I attempt to tell this story because its one of the most difficult I have ever attempted to share. Please be my teachers. Hold my hand because I don’t have a strong foot hold on this part of the climb.

Anon:

I feel a lot of my experience deeply in both YOUR role and HIS role in our stories.

This is the story of my twin flame. We were twins even though we were opposites in many ways. Aquarius and Sagittarius, She is one of my first teachers and actually introduced me to Rodney’s training. I love her and always will. Words will never describe how much I love her. This love is eternal and everlasting.

When I met her it was definitely love at first sight. To me she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was just standing under the light of a street lamp that evening. I was with a friend. She was with her friend. I wanted to meet her so badly I didn’t even think about it…. I was immediately drawn to her and walked over. Its funny now but asked her if she had a “LIGHT” even though I had matches in my pocket. I just wanted an excuse to talk to her. We talked and ended up having one of the most amazing nights of my life. (Maybe a story for another day @the cabin… So much happened that night it was incredible.) We were together like a magnet for the next five years. We talked a lot about how powerful our magnet was for each other. It blew us both away. It was so powerful. The most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. (Mainly in the eyes for some reason.) I learned that amount of powerful love there was an equal amount of pain. To say our relationship was volatile is an understatement. To say there was passion is an understatement. We were best friends because we just understood each other regardless of our differences. We loved each other so much we tore a hole in both of our hearts. When I met her she already had two beautiful girls. I became a father over night. It was a wild experience because I never anticipated to be a parent like that… but I did my best. I loved being a parent for them. I tried every day to be the best provider, partner and parent I could be with no past experience. Learning curve was steep but still an incredible experience.

They showed me so much about life, eating properly, love, how to be a good parent in the greatest lie ever told. How to be a better person. I learned down to the level of how I am wired. (one of the girls was diagnosed aspbergers. She pointed me to learning our “feature sets” and how beautiful they really are.)

>>4597

I lived to serve all them. They were my greatest love of my life. I gave them everything I had. They gave me a nickname…I was named (jokingly) “farm boy” when they needed something. I would always reply “as you wish…”. We all loved that story of Princess Bride together. We did everything together. We didn’t have a lot of money….we struggled often trying to build a life together in the construct. Regardless of that fact it was one of the best times in my life and some of the most difficult learning.

I learned about the lizzies from her and David Ike (I was open to her ideas and beliefs.) …I didn't know what to think back then but now its clear what they are today. Hard realizations to come to during that time. She was ALWAYS so far ahead of me when understanding the real truth. She didn’t like my “job” or the internet. She saw the problems with the web long before I did. I would travel often and work long nights and weekends (trying to be a good provider) she would always ask me “Why cant you just have a “normal” job. Nine to fiver so I could be with them more consistently. Tech was all people wanted to pay me for at the time. It was something I could do well. Whenever I traveled as soon as I walked out the door …..All I wanted to do is get back to her and the girls. They were my HOME. They were the only thing that mattered to me at that time. She felt I was out “having fun” and very jealous when I was away from her for too long. She never realized I only had eyes for her. She couldn’t see or feel the magnet anymore. We were caught up in life. We both lost sight of the force that brought us together.

The matrix / construct puts a lot of pressure on individuals. Pleasure that push a souls to divide and separate. (Its so obvious today. Not so much back then.) She started drinking a lot. I think it was because she BELIEVED what the construct and society told her what she was. She forgot what she was. I always knew she most beautiful light I have ever seen. It was hard to watch her loose that light when the darkness came for her.

She drank until she would pass out and I would carry her to bed every night. She started using coke so she could keep drinking longer. It was a very difficult time. There was nothing I could do to help her with the darkness she fell into. I was powerless. It tore me apart, It tore us all apart. I was also guilty of BELIEVING the construct telling me what I was supposed to be. I was far from perfect in this story. We would separate and our magnets kept bringing us back together for a year. Unfortunately the cycles ended after we both destroyed ourselves trying to exist as a family in the greatest lie ever told. I had to end it because the pain was so bad and I was falling apart too. There is not a day that goes by I don’t regret that decision. The guilt, pain and the love I lost are still with me everyday.

I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could thank her for what she did for me. What they all did for me. I wish I knew what I know today. Maybe we would still be together. Maybe it would have been easier to sort out our challenges. We both fought so hard for each other. We both let the construct win that battle.

I look for her all the time hoping to see and hold her again.

>>4597

Shes always with me in my Thots.

I see her in my dreams sometimes. When I found the bread of TL all I could think was “Is she ok?” Has the matrix put her down? Like I was slammed down…. unable to get up and function? I spent a lot of time with those questions but with time I have come to realize she was always smarter than I was. Always way ahead of me in understanding the truth. She is probably wide awake and doing her duty as a light worker. Still playing her role somewhere out there. Since I have been on TL board she visits me often with information I need to see in my dreams. Last dream I had she had a ring on her finger and was married. She also pointed me to a YT I still need to share with all of you. I share what she shares when it makes sense. She is not online. I don't know where she really is today. I have left her bread crumbs to find me if/when shes ready. I sing for her all the time…. our songs that we loved together. With the hope she will find me again regardless of our current circumstances.

Here are a few of our songs we shared at the time:

Johnny Cash “Ring of Fire”

Johnny Cash “It ain’t me babe”

Songs I sing for her:

Marshall Tucker Band “ Can’t you See”

Lumineers “Stubborn love”

Lumineers “Ho Hey”

Tom Petty “Angel Dream”

Tom Petty “Walls”

Just hearing and sing the words help me remember the love we have. It always help me face the pain and loss with sincerity. I hope and pray I will never forget this experience.

Listen to my songs if they resonate. Crank it up at the cabin if it helps to understand my story better. I find these artist are better at telling my own story than can. I hope you and your husband both have songs that you share. Maybe the songs you share together will help?

Don’t give the “greatest lie ever told” the satisfaction of tearing your love and hearts apart. Fight for your love and your hearts. Never let them take that away. If that makes sense to you….. Its a precious gift and very unique in the time we are now living. Twin flames finding each other is very very special. We ALL need to stick together for the days ahead. Being there for each other is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.

Waking up someone early can be a challenge as we ALL have our own internal clock. Try to be patient. Let you heart guide you as you gently try. I have learned that the language in the TL bread works well to plant seeds even if it doesn’t flip the switch on immediately.

>>4597

He will understand them weather conscious or unconscious because its a language we have ALL always known. We have just forgotten because we were never properly taught.

Thank you for allowing me share this story. I wanted to share this story for some time but never knew how I could possibly approach these words. Your sharing gave me the words and the courage to share. I love you… We ALL love you. I am here for you as go through this challenging time… we ALL climb to-get-her.

Love and Light / Light and Love

Make of your self a light she said….Make of yourself a light.

LLL