I thought I'd share a contact experience:

Well, basically, I associate with a lot of groups. One woman in particular, I have a lot of memory fragments of. I don't 'fit in' in the normal sense with today's people. I've had sex with her. I've experienced weirdness which is her, more so, normal way of being. In a way I think of her as a guide. In another, maybe, a twin soul. I don't really know.

I've been into energy and spirituality for awhile. I've spent a bit visualizing the tarot. There was some 'higher' energetic thing happening which destabilized my life. I lost my job and ended up in the hospital. No drugs were involved.

I saw her sitting on a bench dressed like a high priestess in a more modern sense. She spoke with her mind. To me, I couldn't hear the harmony, but she moved her mouth. So I thought, 'are you eating?'. So looked away as I walked by. I was stunned by her beauty. She really looked away. Like was very aware of me. I was also very aware of her. I moved on bye. I knew who she was instantly. Was too awkward to talk

I proceeded to ground myself and channel energy which was going to some 'battle' or whatever.

I can say I love her. I would want to be around her. I have a well developed capacity to love. I have complete freedom. It's a real pain that open contact is impractical at this point. It makes me question things.

Wanting to freely express myself to others while having all these restrictive protocols really sucks. The more spiritually developed I become I am more apt to see people for who they are or could be, but choose not to. In the same way, they see us like that. She's gentle and has a purity of intentions. I on the other hand am a bit more kinky with her I guess.

Contact has become a double life for me. I live in my waking life to perfect balances which I learn about while in dream experiences. It's a pain. My memory isn't perfect. When an experience is over and all I remember is a fragment of being put back in my bed, it's like dammit what the hell! The natural remembering is upset to preserve others free choice. I'm, though, okay with that for the time being.

I am able to experience a high state of consciousness while waking. So my efforts go into the mass consciousness. That is quite rewarding. How I've learned to deal with the consciousness here isn't overly accepting of most people's thinking patterns. This creates a difficulty. The non-open contact adds to the confusion.

On one hand I want to remember. On the other hand remembering would cause problems. So the best pieces are retained to continue to progress spiritually. It's an optimal solution. I still don't like it. The more contact goes on, the more like them I get which means I cherish being around them and want to remember. The mass consensus though is the limiting factor.

In the future, I'd like to live more like them where a synchronous process without so many demands on a person is the general social and associative way with living and enjoying life.