That was beautiful friend. The section prior to your (1) marker was so familiar to me it had me emotional nostalgic. For the briefest second I wondered if you were an old friend. Has it been that many years….since I knew how to trust? That vibe left such an impression on me also. The experiences had with friends I truely loved changed me in ways I don't always stop to recognise. In this moment, I remember.
I never chose to lock my trust away, but I lost much of it all the same eventually. There are many I love, but few I truely trust without quiet fear that my trust is naive and misplaced. I am trusting by nature, but I flinch hard anticipating the recoil.
Doubt I'll stop thinking about this post of yours anytime soon. My friend, it seems I am holding on to alot more hurt than I thought I was. Not to bore with tales of woe, but I remember every instance when someone betrayed my trust, and the big ones still hurt.
Oh man, the can of worms is open now. I'm going to have to face this shit before I sleep well again.
Love the post and you friend. Since it hit this hard, it seems I needed to hear this. Once my default setting was open, I have clear memory of that.