>>12107

Today was a powerful day for me energetically. Like a little pressure valve that's been wistling since 10 am. I went and dug some. I even think I may have figured out a cool game.

My friend who has tried to show me some yoga stuff once explained this thing about breathing incramentally in equal steps. Today I tried to time my breaths to my steps as I was pushing the wheelbarrow. Seven paces on the in seven on the out mostly worked out, sometimes I messed upand ran out of space before hitting the count, but I think by and large it helped my breathing.

I may be taking his lesson out of it's context, but for those who understand that stuff, does that sound like a reasonable adaptation?

The day brought some new thoughts to light, I really need to ponder on more before delving into, but I have a feeling there is a big choice coming up soon, and is shape only today started to form. Golly, I wish physical digging didn't wear me down like it does, I really do my most interesting thinking when my body is on autopilot and I am busy. It occurred to me that two concepts I thought were aligned and complimentary may be actually be opposed to each other, that is all I feel right saying just yet.

What were you saying about lows making sense?

How great would it be to speed up the pace at which hindsight becomes clear until the understanding is in phase with the actions.

>Hypocracy is our birthright

I sure hope so, because I am rife, and it weighs on me.

I am so new to the chans I have only been called fren a few times. This is sad to admit, but it's been a very long time since I have had people outside the family whom I enjoy having contact with. The world has become very small as maybe less than ten people know I exist. I never intended to go full hermit, it just kinda happened.

Somewhere up the thread I said this is the most positive place I have ever been to on the internet ever. Thank you for your part in making that true.

Have I told you all how much I love you? I love this place, and all of you. Do people from here use that discord thing or anything else to just shoot the shit sometimes without having to be constantly on point? QRV is sucking my energy down, as it is probably the most negative place on the internet I have been. I need to find a balance between the spending and recharging of my energy.

>>12108

22 since ten am when I started counting. not saying it's backflips and parades, but I'll take that for a first day of trying.

>once you believe you have the ability to do what you want, that you are the only one in control of you, it eases the journey.

Got shovel to ground and made some more progress towards getting ready to start the house. This spring the foundation IS finally going in. Analog manifestation via brute stubborn labor

Is kinda where I am at right now. I think y'all would dig the design, every wall falls along one of three interlocking fibernachi spirals. If I can actually pull it off before I die, it will be the coolest thing I have ever done.

>Is there a lesson there to be learned here? Why do you have this feeling (with many others), when many others don't?

Not doubt there is, but it has not become clear to me yet, I guess I just feel like it isn't up to me to grant myself forgiveness because I am far to biased about myself( ego is not something I lack) to be objective, I think I have to recuse myself, as I am too adept at making excuses for myself. As to why others feel differently, I cannot say.

>Condemnation to what? Is there a philosophy of Man (and Woman) that is perfect? Does choosing one imperfect philosophy over another change the outcome of Condemnation? Who is condemning who?

"Well dude, we just don't know" like I said origionaly, the idea of a harsh judgment when this journey ends is a leftover from childhood I have never really shaken off completely. I have entertained a bunch of theories and ideas, and agree all are lacking, hence my hodge podge personal believe system in constant flux as new ideas present themselves.

The only thing I can really seem to wrap my head around is the libertarian NAP, and other cause no harm type ideas. I STILL fail, depending on how harsh the standards of harm are, but I don't get to trapped up in driving myself crazy all the time with it.

Who? No idea. I still hold simulation theory near the top of the possible pile. Think the "Roy" game from the Rick and Morty show, only endlessly repetitive with goals to make the next level. I think I like the idea, because it helps justify and explain the rediculous difficulty level this experience as been set to. If it has been this hard, maybe just maybe it's because it is supposed to be hard at this level, and it isn't because I suck at life, but that I am actually good at this game and have earned a tough round.

I know how that sounds to most folks, and I'm not saying that that is how things are.

>You are no more far behind or ahead of anyone here.

Are you kidding me? I feel like I'm trying to play tee ball in front of major league all stars. I usually feel pretty smart, not here. But I think that is what I like about diacussing ideas instead of debating facts. I am blessed with the ability to not be tied down with dogma, so when I see good stuff I think I can interate into my life I can be fluid.

Thank you for the good stuff!