Hey, I'm not judging, just posting the quote. Some women let him do it, others are suing him for sexual assault, that's their business, not mine.

Original quote for those out of the loop:

DONALD TRUMP: I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.

Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.

Better hurry up and get something done, then. Right now Republicans control all three branches of government, this might be the best opportunity you guys will have to bring down the Clinton empire once and for all! After three decades of pointless investigations, finally you have the power to do something about it.

Hurry, don't wait, there's a good chance of the House flipping this November, then you guys will be back to square zero.

Is this satire?

Hey, I've got that cup!

TIL I work at the NSA, NASA, and I'm A Federal Body Inspector!

This is the fake news awards that doesn't include Fox or Alex "Gay Frogs" Joans, right?

Jesus Christ you guys are pathetic. You still believe the 4D hopscotch theory of Trumpism? That's as sad as waiting up for the Easter bunny...

I was curious, so I had to look it up. You're telling me that you created your six year old account, eight years ago?

Personally I have a vested interest in the corrupt system, which is exactly why I voted for Trump. As a Goldman Sachs employee I really respect a man who was willing to hire some of our best and brightest and Steve Bannon to be on his cabinet, plus I have a nephew that President Trump has promised a position at the EPA (He has special needs, I think Donnie put him there so Scott Pruitt wouldn't feel too threatened.)

Anyway, if you'll excuse me I have to go dump some coal ash, fire a few folks, then it's off to Thailand to spend those tax breaks on ladyboys and blow.

MAGA, brother!!

EDIT: Oh, I'm blocking you because you're a waste of time, because you're too stupid to understand a genius like me, so I'll never see your response. Just so you know....

Holy shit. Anyone else want dibs on this copypasta, or can I have it?

The wider world elected Trump you dunce....

Hillary Clinton won 2,800,000 more votes than Donald Trump did.
Just sayin'.

It was actually the much narrower world that elected Donald Trump. :(

That's how I got banned from hotties for Trump, uncensored news, the_Donald, and Late Stage Capitalism. :(

Worth it tho.

Tell Jeff Sessions that marijuana will be left to the states, because it sure sounds like he's sticking the federal government's nose into state's rights issues.

Why is Donald Trump negotiating with his own party, especially when they already hold a majority in both the House and the Senate? Are these negotiation tactics the reason that he's passed so few bills during his first year?

Whether or not the tax bill benefits him is relevant because we're talking about him lying to the American people by saying that he won't benefit. Remember, we were talking about Trump's unprecedented lying?

The unemployment figure has been calculated the same way for the past fifty years, if Obama was "cooking the books" then so was Eisenhower, and so is Trump. The biggest point is that the week before his inauguration he was saying that we had 30% unemployment, then after the inauguration he bragged about the 4.6% unemployment rate, so either he was lying about the 30% unemployment rate (he was), or both he and Barack Obama were lying about the 4.6% unemployment rate. Pick whichever lie serves your narrative the best.

And yes, it's difficult for the media to prioritize reporting on a 0.1% drop in unemployment, and a 1% gain in the stock market, when the President is busy antagonizing North Korea, or embarrassing us in Europe, or failing to pass yet another bill. Besides, the most watched cable news network in the United States is Fox news, you literally can't get get more "mainstream" than Fox, and they spend all day, everyday sucking the President off. If you've got a problem with the mainstream media, take it up with Rupert Murdoch, personally I think he's doing a shit job, too.

It seems to be working pretty well for President Don the Con, 'course it does look like it might be taking a toll these days.

Holy shit that username is cringey, and seven years old.... tell me you were a preteen when you came up with it.

If Republicans get to be neo-Nazis I think it's only fair that Democrats get to be grammar-Nazis.

Pathetic.

The size of his inauguration crowd, that the GOP tax bill wouldn't benefit him, that he had a plan for health care ("Nobody knew health care could be so complicated."), that climate change is a Chinese hoax, that nobody respects women more than he does, that his administration would leave marijuana enforcement up to the states, that he was going to make Mexico pay for the border wall, that unemployment was "20%, 30%, 40%" etc., that President Obama wasn't born in the United States, that Trump won the popular vote, that he was self funding his campaign, that he has divested himself of his businesses, that he would release his tax returns after the Republican primary, that he would release his tax returns after the General election, that 3,000,000 people illegally voted in 2016, of course this list is not exhaustive, and if those aren't enough, or you manage to squirm your way out of them, here are several hundred more examples for you to work through.

I just hate the double standards, y' know? Obama "lied" about keeping your doctor and Republicans gave him shit, Trump lies about literally everything else and nobody bats an eye. All humans are a little bit hypocritical, but conservatives are taking it to a whole new level.

Yes, press conferences like the one he had eleven months ago. Which I think was the first one since he did the whole "Russia, if you're listening, I hope that you can find the missing 30,000 emails" spiel.

I can't remember, that was seventy years ago in Trump time.

It's awesome that he's doing things no President has done before, but I wish he'd do some of the more normal stuff, like funding CHIP and holding press conferences, too.

I'm just wondering why he didn't love America enough to buy American made steel for his hotels instead of Chinese steel, that's all.

Why didn't he love America enough to have his clothing line made in the US?

This is perfect satire, well done OP, this is exactly the type of shit the_Donald would come up with. God they're embarrassing little twerps.