"Obvious parody" is protected, isn't it?
Stop drinking so much of the sugary shit. I've actually had to go about getting used to the taste of unsweetened sparkling drinks so I could start to get away from that. It wasn't pleasant for a while, but now I've almost gotten past the bitterness to the point the orange flavors actually have an orange taste to them.
So much that they had a huge protest in Tokyo.
Which had no native-born Japanese people in attendance