Anonymous ID: df8e83 July 21, 2020, 10:58 a.m. No.10033873   🗄️.is 🔗kun   >>3887 >>3905 >>3930 >>3961 >>3995 >>4001 >>4172 >>4522 >>4572

Q, I've lost faith. Due to extensive research done by the University of Pittsburgh, diamond has been confirmed as the hardest metal known to man. The research is as follows:

Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond travelling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall made of metal into 400 miles an hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted earths orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles an hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 10000 wayward planes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 10000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall travelling at miles per iron, and the result proved with out a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.

Anonymous ID: df8e83 July 21, 2020, 11:29 a.m. No.10034171   🗄️.is 🔗kun   >>4299

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Anonymous ID: df8e83 July 21, 2020, 11:33 a.m. No.10034201   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>gf is prego

>we like to get kinky anyways

>one night things get particularly saucy

>i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights

>wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period

>i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering

>ohshitohshitohshitohshit

>i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital

>she's still bleeding everywhere

>by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent

>oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state

>storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything

>he takes one look at ther and says

>"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"

>"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"

>"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"

Anonymous ID: df8e83 July 21, 2020, 11:35 a.m. No.10034229   🗄️.is 🔗kun   >>4242 >>4247 >>4256

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

She is not sitting on a couch.