Attention: Deep State Operatives

As current OpTempo in counter-coup operations begins to ramp up, it is important that lower level operatives such as agency plants and paid shills realize that time is, in fact, running out for uncontested anti-American activities in government and information-media industries. Within the next ten (10) days, all lower level operatives may expect to be targeted for enforcement actions ranging from arrest for suversive activities to elimination of foreign-based assets.

The United States Government urges you to immediately report your activities, as well as the identity of your handler and source of payment. We recommend that you do so through counsel, and your counsel will be contacted by attorneys from the U.S. government to arrange for expedited plea agreements and sentencing recommendations. Reports of sufficient value may be offered limited immunity from prosecution.

Your counsel may initiate contact with us to report your information to the Defense Intelligence Agency through our main telephone number at our Public Affairs Office. That telephone number is (202) 231-5554. Your counsel will receive further instructions on how to pass on your report confidentially, with minimal risk of physical retaliation against you by your handler or other anti-American agents.

This offer is limited to this communications medium, and is time-limited to five (5) days from the date this message is posted. The United States Government unilaterally reserves the right to terminate or withdraw this offer at any time prior to the above-stated expiry based on circumstances. No notice shall be given upon termination or withdrawal of said offer.

Quite literally, this is your only chance. Please govern your personal actions accordingly if you prefer an opportunity to avoid maximum liability for your past conduct.