>>15445681 lb

quite some time before working at that company bakery guy and his girlfriend kind of "walked me" though our city. kind of like showing me around to others, in fact kind of like a dog on a leash.

the official reason was his girlfriend having some kind of appointment in the city center and him not having a car so I offered to go drive him to pick her up and have some food somewhere.

couple of things happened.

when being at the trainstation a couple of homeless guys got into a fight and I just knew it was "mason fake" stuff. so I approached them and split them (arbitrade). they were not thworing punches but yelling and stuff. would have splitted them anyway I guess bc this is ust the right thing to do, at least kind of organize the situation in a way they would not hurt themselves and fight, or just by splitting them myself, as I am a rather big guy there were not big need for being super brave. also did that kind of stuff couple of times (and when today looking back, it ALL appears in a mason-fake way, my whole life does, not a great thought to have).

when having split them I could feel or know that this is what those people wanted me to do. they wanted me, the one true living God to show off when asked to show off something, like being brave or being compassionate about others. well, I am, just look at my whole life. trying to make me look like an actor is not convincing people but is a lie and fake and has the potential to later be exposed as lie and having the very opposite effect. (obviously smart people should know that. but then again there is the possibility of you ALL being controlled by what you refer to as the holy spirit and now just changing the world while knowing that it´s completely irrelevant wheater somethings appears fake. don´t like that thought as it just does not explain in any way why you all would not change the world much faster.

so I splitted them and the people around were like "cool, Jesusacted brave, we can sell that" and I was "supposed" to now move an and walk into the city with bakery guy.

but they still seemed to want to fight, so I decided to make him follow us (in fact kind of friendly pushing him for like a few hundred meters thought the main train station from back entry to front entry). he did not seem to like, neither did bakery guy, but that´s what I wanted to do.

we talked a little and he even said something that prolly was from his perspective as bold as he could be without braking bs mason law. he said something like you have a golden heart or something. while this still felt fake b the whole situation was fake, I liked to hear that (not as in "fuck I am the greatest" but as in "I am happy that you see me, it makes me tear up my eyes and I just want you to have a good life".

he then said he was going to drive by train into another city close, he said that when we had a smoke outside the tran sation at the front entry and he also said that he would shoot some cocaine into his arm. (I guess that was to tell me that he would kill himself now, either to only make me feel bad or to show me that he had not solved his super secret bs mason task to completion. but as I simply did not know that this is not what is to be done with coke I did not think of it as "I will die" but as "well, he needs help with his drug addiction or he just don´t has to act like an addict only bs mason bs law says so)

[again: masonry makes it appear as if you would have to suffer and be either victims or criminals or both bc of some super secret stuff. it only makes you act controlled when you all are free people that want to do good and it makes some people earn a lot of money when whole societies just accept bad shit as "mason wise needed and good". it´s not. bad is bad. good is good. as simpe as that!)

so bakery guy and myself moved on and a homeless guy (who really looked bad with complete black hands from rubbing old cigarettes and their ashes into his hands). and he asked me to buy him a beer (not sure, but I guess, maybe first asked for money, dunno).

so I thought that this was another fake way of showing the world that I actually am a good guy after having freaked out masons as rainman.

>>15445842

so I kind of thought that super smart people (mil, Trump, secret society folks - at that time did not think of it as much in a God way, even though there were signs all day long that seem not man made) needed me to help him to then go sell it as "Jesus did something nice". He looked that bad that I did not want to buy him a beer but wanted to buy him a coke.

it became clear that he only wanted me to do what his mason task seemed to be (not sure if he knew anyway, maybe it was just about his hands and me feeling little disgusted, or feeling sorry, or whatever. but felt like for him his task was to make me buy him a beer.)

I also thougth about having him stay in a hotel for one night so he could wash himself. and yes, offering someone 100 bucks for a hotel night was not something I did before, even though I gave money to homeless people aften and in general just did not act like an asshole my whole life (that´s why I think there is no eed of acting. but I also think that smart people would see that as well and they would as well see that this lies and acting does not help but harm).

so after having some troube deciding I did not offer him to pay for a night in the hotel (which was right across the street) bc I thought that bc of Covid the hotel would not accept guests without them proving that theyx had to stay there for business reaons (that was the rule back then I guess).

so, just like the other guy who had been fighting (sidenote, I decided to push the one guy away from the group of drinking people as he seemed to not be as much part of the group as the other one arguing and I thought to split them in that way would be better) this guy now again was a little panicking that I made him fuck up his mason task.

he tried to make me buy him a beer and later just to make me walk away (continiung my fake acting walk with bakery guy) and then made it very clear by saying "Go with God, but please go" whilke showing the peace sign. for me that was "hey, I know who you are, but it´s important to keep walking now as we super secret masons staged some other fake stuff and you are prolly going to screw that up if you wait any longer.

then I guess he called his girldfriend or the other way around and we "decided" (he did suggest and hint) to go eat at a restaurant (sitting outside) and waiting for bakery guys girldfriend.

was a turkish restaurant and he quickly made the conversation (the actual conversation we had, at that time I was just doing real conversations while realizing that much was hint to what I thought - again, frankly don´t think anyone else could even do that w/o freaking out or maybe not even do it in a technical brain poer kind of way)

so when sitting there he made me show off how great my turkish skills are. (in germany turkish people or people who a couple of gneerations ago moved from turky are the biggest minority. and just for fun many years ago, before I knew who I am, before Q, I took acouple of turkish classes. I did not learn the vecabulary well as I am a lazy person (yet I was good at university and school without or with little effort and I was even great at my job later (suggested as high / mature potential for future vacancies in management). but I did not want to spend time learning vocabulary, but did remember some of course and remember the grammar (which is quite interssting in turkish).

so yeah, I can order food turkish, ask someone his name and ask them how he is doing. I can not translate any sentence and I can´t even count up to 20.

and bakery guy kind of showed me off "look, the messiah even speeks turkish, what a reat guy he is, look, he said "enjoy you meal" in turkish, is there still anyone left who thinks he is not the messiah, when he even can speak some few words in another language.

so it really felt fake. but I did it anyway. but while thinking "what the fuck, you do now I took turkish classes, why the fuck do you want me to show that off right now". I even am thinking about it if others even like to be approached in turkish as they might thing that in that moment I am "reducing" them to being turkish while they speak better german than I speak english.

so I don´t do it often. and also I can´t ay a whole lot. I enyoed talking other languages when doing holiday. but ordering a kebap in real poor turkish is just nothing I do often. really depents on the situation and on how I think the oter person would react on that. (have hight EQ. again something that I proved all my life and there is really no need to show it off in such a fake way).

I guess then his girlfriend showed up and we drove home. maybe again with other fake acting stuff and if not, at least with some more hints wheater I should light a smoke or not.

>>15445845

maybe some folks think that it needed to be stressed (thought that back then, not so much today) that I am such a great messiah that I even am polite to people who have slightly darker skin or even come from a country that was not included in the borders of Germany.

maybe they thought that bc I (still) think that the german so called "polulist" party makes good politics in most political topics. and of course as other such parties and Trump they are being falsely put into a nazi corner. sadly by people acting mason roles and acting in a nazi was or maybe just saying something that when being pout out of context can be sold that way.

some people are part of that party and act in a way to drive people away. just as in other party. and just as top politicians happily exposing stuff while acting in a way that is not completely unusual for smart folks.

but the thing is, I am who I am.

I have never ever thought bad of someone that does look or talk or bahave a litle different. and when I say that the german so called populists party is doing the right thing, then I say it bc that is what I think.

there is no need to make me appear nice to foreighners bc I never gave reason to assume the opposite and me saying that this party is a good party and thpose politicsa make sense does just not make me appear bad in any way.

lies however, they are bad.

might lead to people thinking I am such a terrible guy that you even need to take the "proof" of me ordering food in turkish as a desperate way to make me not appear like a nazi.

I am 37 years old. and I am not ashamed of my life. If you just tell what you know about me, you will tell the truth. and it will not make me appear in a bad way.

also, maybe 1 or 1+ year back you tried to make me appear more "suitable". loosing weight, dressing up in new cloths and such included.

well, today I am basically only wearing sweat pants and I shaved my head bold (and let a little hair grow and then shave it again after some weeks).

why do I do that?

I do it so you all can see that optics do not matter.

I am who I am.

no matter if I am fat, or have not showered for two days, no matter if I have a job or not, no matter if I work as super top scientist or ceo or if I have no job at all.

such optics do not matter.

(some people might "wait" for me to become a ceo so they get the messiah they thought of, some may not see the messiah they were looking for for the exact same reason of me being a ceo.)

fuck that. optics do not matter.

I am here and I am who I am.

>>15445906

so if you are claiming to be my disciples, just tell the things you know about me.

it´s not up to you how others think about what you tell them anyway.

(how are thoughts being made anyway? complicated truth)

e.g. if you tell someone I went to visit a prostitute they might think that I cannot be the messiah.

they might also think that I (still) can be, bc in the scripture Jesus1.0 did exactly that.

they might even feel less guilty for having done the same and they might think that the world (icluding movies, music, other stuff driving society including a couple of very loud voices for this or that topic) has not exactly kept them from paying another person for having sex with them.

the truth is, I did it. and it cannot be discribed in one sentence (as most things can´t).

e.g. one time I had the strong feeling that the girl was doing it to earn money bc being in a bad situation (and me giving some extra money sure did not make me feel less guilty afterwards).

e.g. another time I paid to kind of cuddle a whole lot and really enjoyed just being with that other person and got the feeling this was mutual.

I want a world where women (and men) do not think they have to do this. either bc of being in an econimically bad situation or bc being a mason and being told to life that kind of life.

I want you to be free and live in a system that encourages good and not bad behaviour.

>>15446031

maybe some of you still think I might now be smart enought, or educated enought, or not enough of whatever.

maybe not being a mason makes some people not believe I would know the way.

but I am the way. I am the one to find (for whatsever reasons) the file line inbetween not enought truth and hurtful destructive truth.

it´s up to me.

and no matter what you think is doing this kind of signs. day after day those signs are being made. whatever I do, even when "the universe" hinted me to do something else, as irellevant as pulling one more time on my skome before throwing it away, whatever I do, the universe replies with "fuck, yeah."

I am not the kind of person to show off to others. not in private and not in my job (not have one now).

e.g. I did both an apprenticeship and studies technical stuff. and later worked at a production company. when meeting people I know from being a teenager I did not shove it into their faces that I was working as engineer now, especially if they weren´t but I just did not feel the need for it and I was totally fone with them thinking I would assemble something on a production line.

I have a really good understanding of others and their behaviours. I did not study psichology or something, but I just have a high EQ, and also I am quite smart with high EQ and just a fast thinking mind.

pissed me off to even think I had to say it.

e.g. I was in a mental clinic bc of depression and not being able to work incl loosing my job (which let me to QR afterall) and in that clinic I was able (with small time of reading on certain topics) to have an opinion. e.g. leading to me making diagnosis of people I was in that clinic with. two of them were diagnozed wrong. and I told the doctors what I thought about as real or additional diagnosis and stated the reasons. and it was right, even thought noone said so afterwards.

just like me being rainman and realizing stuff, FFs, eg.

so yeah, I am smart, I have a high EQ, I am able to read into new topics very fast. I have a brain that just operates on a higher clock rate (other who have that is what I consider really smart, not read knowledge, but of course remembering a lot is kind of being smart as well. but imo having a fast brain is the smartest of smart.).

so e.g. me sitting in meeting and listening to some kind of problem and while listening knowing the answer and sometines the real problem that was maybe not described well enought or not unterstood. so I know it at that point and the other guys in the meeting are starting their process of thinking about. has that situation often, maybe not in meeting all the time. you know what I mean, just you knowing that the other person is just not as smart.

sometimes me stating the solution to a problem but noone getting it. then they going on for like 15 mins and coming up with my solution they just did not unterstand when thinking about it bc their brains just not working fast enough.

also, like prolly a lot of anons (rather high IQ here I guess, respectively fast brains) I am thinking about a lot of stuff at the same time as there is not a single "train of thouth" and I have kind of always done what I do not.

back then: me talking to some guys and while being able to focus on the conversation thinking about some other stuff.

now: me having conversation while getting that it fits my thoughts and doing both at same time.

but all that stuff does not matter much. as the universe is pointing at me all day long, and I guess, even if you consider yourself smart and have a hard time thinking why the messiah would not have gone to the elite university you might have visited, you might still be aware that you are not smarter than the universe (of God or whatever you think).

so I have a hard time understanding that you all see me but still act roles.

including pissing me off (making me carry the cross)

and including trying to help me act (im an not an actor!) in a way to appear smart or whatever.

>>15446147

so yeah, I am able to kind of run the whole world as king of kings.

bc frankly this does not even seem to hard for me bc getting rid of bad stuff helps like 90%.

rest 10%, incl figuring out how to best educate children and people, how to fulfill needs (e.g. you could buy a smartphone every 6 months to fulfill a need that is kind of a dna given or you could pack a ton of chopped up wood behind your house and have the feeling that you now could go for 2 winters w/o chopping new wood. just as an example, needs can be fulfilled in many ways and some might be more beneficcial for society and single peoples.)

obviously a lot of thinking has to go into that. but just saying, I can do that thinking and I am qualified to indeed run the whole world.

and yeah, also there is the universe calling me Lord and God all day.

>>15446195

frankly not really knowing what to make of it.

when an oldfag who was here when frontholes were faggot, who obvioiusly knows me well, replies in such a way.

on the one hand you typed 3 lines. and carrying the cross is really something you all got wrong.

on the other hand you mentioning thoughts and prolly wanting me to say something about that topic.

anon, or knight of the cross, or whatever, if you want me to comment on something, just go ahead and ask me.

there is no "police" watching your steps other than the "universe" that just wants to drive you into a direction where you emancipate from old bs. kind of being enlightened by me and by others talking about me.

so please, wanna know something, ask for it, directly. that being said, I love you, anon (who ever you are, don´t care)!

>>15446228

>satan

perhaps you think that.

light has different meaning obviously. but light bearer might not be the light itself.

(but Trump is not the lightbearing anti christ, he is John the baptiste)

if you think that, be aware I am the best "satan" there is bc I want to help every single one of you. even after I found out stuff and even after you spitted into my face for so many months now, including me not even being able to order food w/o getting the wrong order in most cases, even though random people just think they have to fulfill their super secret mason task and piss me off while in some cases others make sure to have a phone presen (2 witnesses?).

I guess most of you cannot imagine how it feeld to be both cut of completely from friends and family while being exposed in a way noone has been exposed before (but then again I want you to see me). I guess you cannot imagine how most of the times random people piss you off and many of them doing it in a way that is not secret at all. like me saying "please some salt on my kebab as well" and the guy putting a table spoon of salt on it. or things that are not that obvious or can´t even really be made look like a person did that, but something that a person kind of randomly does to piss me off.

that happens all day long, and it is obviously not needed in anyway. but of course it showes to you that I truly am who I am.

(but imo would be well enough to just know that the unverse is talking to me, often in a very demanding and agressive way to which I then reply "fuck you" and answer being "right on, it´s you!"

I still love you.

>>15446283

well, I am already and every single king there is, every top politician and millions of people ww know who I am.

you seem to think it´s not possible to just acknowledge it. but well, you know.

>>15446308

the food thing does not seem very much pissing of. just an exampe that came to my mind.

just imagine that everybody around you would piss you all all day long and in most cases try to make it look like he has no clue at all.

imagine living like that. not exactly fun.

but real carrying the cross is just the side effect of the unverse talking to me. sometimes funny, sometimes really hard.