>>15744880 LB

Been there done that on both counts. Honesty goes a long, long way with me. I’ve walked many a mile in all kinds of shoes. And, I certainly know the pitfalls and challenges when it comes to substances, additiction, etc. So, I’ve def had a soft spot in my heart a time or two for a certain type of down on your luck kinda guy who was totally up front about needing a drink. Not so much for those out there just hustlin’ to hustle with no attempts towards a better life.

I actually worked in the kitchen of a homeless shelter that had paid staff for a year or so back in the day. It opened my eyes to a whole other side of homelessness that I was naive to up to that point. Despite all the resources these guys were being offered to find work and get a roof over their heads, so many of them were just waiting for that check from muh gubment to go out and get their motel room, bag ‘rocks, and a prostitute until the money ran out. Then they would show up back at the shelter until that next check showed up. And, this was a 95+% white demographic. Opened my eyes to many things on many levels.

The earlier part of our conversation reminded me of this video I came across a while back. Thought I’d share. I guess you could call this my kinda porn. Monk porn? Is that a thing?!

>>15745118

Ha! Certainly sounds like we’ve rolled down some similar highways in our journeys and what I’m now coming to understand as a very long initiation process that is still unfolding for me. The shamanic path has been calling me my whole life, though I’ve kept it hidden to myself for fear of falling into the trap of the modern day ‘gringo shaman’, as I like to call them. I just don’t believe that you can access the true gifts and healing potentialities that the shamanic path offers by reading a couple books and purchasing a certificate through a weekend or month long workshop. I’ve always believed when the student is ready, the master will appear, or something to that effect. But, it feels like my hand is being forced towards something more like what you’ve described given course of events that have transpired in recent times. I don’t think I have a choice anymore, feels like the universe is pushing me through whether I like it or not. Teacher or no teacher, it feels like I’m being pushed to embrace my true nature at this point in time. Feel like a blind man about to walk off a cliff while learning how to fly. It’s a weird, wild, scary, exhilarating, depressing, and joyous bundle of mess that could only be understood by someone else who has been through a similar journey of their own!

Know what you mean about feeling more at home amongst the broken and down trodden. Wouldn’t have it any other way, though. I’ll take time with a man broken by society standards but strong in spirit and courage over flush in material wealth but lacking depth of experience and understanding of what true compassion really is any day. Born amongst the latter but more in common with the former. I thank God for this long road of learning, but it’s not been one of ease!