Show me how many of you are around. Flash your lights, wave, let me know you're out there. There is no one I can talk to that won't think I'm crazy. Even my kids can see all the signs but fail to understand the implications. Even the working with the blind(s) was a nice touch. Water like a fountain from my belly, very well done, the mixed with blood, nice touch. teacher at my church age 13-18, never thought about that until I was 40ish years old. Now I have the Longines spear scar, all of this is freaking me out. Down to the leprosy shitโฆyet no one sees it yet? How can my kids not be freaking out, how can my wife not see what's as plain as the nose on your face? Hell, I even have his original bible, given to me by a kid in N.Eritrea. Is there a block placed on me where people cannot see or hear the truth? Anyone who has studied the life of Jesus would be jumping up and down foaming at the mouth if they saw me, verified my information, and it's all documented, my position in my church was paid @ the age of 13. A professional kid preacher, that I never even thought of until just now. How was all of this done without even I realizing who I was? Still sitting here I cannot believe it myself, who I am, and how everything has aligned to bring me here to those that have looked over me my entire life. Sad to think my parents couldn't be on this side to witness what's ahead. What I don't understand is why the pain, of late the emotional pain I've been given? What am I suppose to do about it? Please help support me, give me definitive information that will help me prove my case to my children regarding the emotional pain I'm experiencing. If I have broken rules please accept my pain as sufficient punishment. Make a miracle happen for me, let me be happy. I pray for my happiness, what ever that means, I just want to be happy. If I'm happy, the world will follow. When I'm happy like I was in the 80's fantastic things happen to America and the world. Is this why she is here, to distract my happiness? To make sure nothing is as it seems?
Let me know what you think. Let me know you're out there, wave, flash headlights, let me know I am not alone. In the meantime I'm going to see if I can influence the schumann resonance a little with some harmonics. It seems I've been in a deep sleep, it feels as if I am waking. There is another level that used to be me that I've lost. There was a time when I could change what I didn't like around me. Now would be a nice time to relearn that trick. Live has beaten the will out of me, help me feel better about myself, tell me what I used to be able to do and maybe something might jar a memory. If I were happy, this wouldn't be a problem. it'd be nice to have a friend that can guide me.