TYB
May God have mercy on you anon. I've lived through it several times because my parents weren't good with money and decision making. I am the eldest and had to take care of my 3 baby siblings alone in a motel room. Sometimes I couldn't sleep because I was paranoid someone would break into the room. We had no family to help us either.
You guys will need enough to put a deposit down on somewhere and anyone who can work will have to, to afford the cost of rent today. Right now, my spouse has 2 jobs, and we barely make it. Work as much as you can because right now is the time to grind. It's really hard out here thanks to the Bidan admin. The only good thing that came out of the 6 of us in a motel room, was getting to be closer and bonding. Hopefully your situation isn't as bad, but at the very least, you will learn to have each other's backs.
God walk with you and your family in Jesus' name.
You came here hoping for warmth and comfort most likely because you have no one else in your life who doesn't know you as the strong one. I wish I could offer medical advice or tell you I have all the answers, but I have nothing. It's okay to faulter and show how you feel instead of trying to hold yourself up all the time. That's not good for your heart. I never got help for my mental struggles either but don't let yourself slip away.
I know taking care of yourself is probably the last thing you want to do in any capacity right now, but you should put your needs first. Even if it's something small, go ahead and try. Dance a little bit, have a cookie, some fruit, or a piece of chocolate, drink a little bit more water, and sit under some trees for a bit. Just feel more connected to the world around you. It's not all bad, at least not the part we were meant to live in. When you smile at the little things, that moment can replay and help you hold on.
One time, I was in my closet, ready to do something I know I'd regret but I kept visualizing a clear cup of espresso. It sounds weird but I really love coffee and making those in the morning was something I wanted to do one more time. That was enough for me.
You are my friend anon and I love you. You are important and it's so brave of you to look these thoughts in the face and still beat them down enough to make it. Hold on, friend. I pray we see the light at the end of this together.
Never be ashamed of having a more sensitive soul. It's harder to feel deeply and more intimately than not to. Some of us weren't meant to be made of steel, and while we can learn to manage the feelings, it helps to keep us connected to each other, the earth, and God.