potato bacon sour creams chive butturface tumblr
latex super hero cock ridurs discoved online
mistur sistur gahyjapuupoo drop
big fat spinnur feels buuk must buy
anthropomorphic french lady feels similiarity spreadur
darkside of durh rainbows
smoked bacon flavors rady signals
chit posed >>21769612
sponsor not called yet >>21770066
>>sponsor not called yet
>sponsor knows yogahy problum an halps
must go to meetings an suffur payin fart tax drunk
>>>sponsor not called yet
>>sponsor knows yogahy problum an halps
>must go to meetings an suffur payin fart tax drunk
all meeting hav drunk fart tax must gib
>>21770099
>>>>sponsor not called yet
>>>sponsor knows yogahy problum an halps
>>must go to meetings an suffur payin fart tax drunk
>all meeting hav drunk fart tax must gib
call sponsor drunk fart tax must gib free
>>>>>sponsor not called yet
>>>>sponsor knows yogahy problum an halps
>>>must go to meetings an suffur payin fart tax drunk
>>all meeting hav drunk fart tax must gib
>call sponsor drunk fart tax must gib free
git juws to pay drunk fart tax must gib
>>>>>>sponsor not called yet
>>>>>sponsor knows yogahy problum an halps
>>>>must go to meetings an suffur payin fart tax drunk
>>>all meeting hav drunk fart tax must gib
>>call sponsor drunk fart tax must gib free
>git juws to pay drunk fart tax must gib
HObummurJUW owes drunk fart taxes must gib
>>>>>>>sponsor not called yet
>>>>>>sponsor knows yogahy problum an halps
>>>>>must go to meetings an suffur payin fart tax drunk
>>>>all meeting hav drunk fart tax must gib
>>>call sponsor drunk fart tax must gib free
>>git juws to pay drunk fart tax must gib
>HObummurJUW owes drunk fart taxes must gib
juw haz read taht gaschumbur buukkk before
capt. greene called his sponsor
an has a woke awakening threesum on tarmac
>woke awakening threesum on tarmac
tahy wuz fingur bangin coon poon an rump fingurin an forunur manboy snuff flick acceptable in greece an bozarre [blank] [blankity] [blank] [ blank] bladwin catalog of epstein islands an anal phausrs
fELONy depravity smut $care$
>>21770185
thoos zombies arr yur ghosts
borderline personality pseduo epiphany fed drine FiB myopia cultural hedgmony @batjoto
how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
butt wait
"nukin juw faggots "
is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206
>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
>butt wait
>"nukin juw faggots "
>is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206
>>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
dew sumting alec baldwin
>>butt wait
>>"nukin juw faggots "
>>is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206
>>>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>>>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
>dew sumting alec baldwin
alec bladwin is insurtin durh ass apple now fo fayk twat seance
> >>21770224 (You)
>> >>21770215 (You)
> >>butt wait
>>>"nukin juw faggots "
>>>is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206 (You)
>>>>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>>>>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
>>dew sumting alec baldwin
>alec bladwin is insurtin durh ass apple now fo fayk twat seance
gay niggas summon jfk victum to chaturbate
> >>21770232 (You)
>> >>21770224 (You) (You)
>>> >>21770215 (You) (You)
>> >>butt wait
>>>>"nukin juw faggots "
>>>>is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206 (You) (You)
>>>>>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>>>>>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
>>>dew sumting alec baldwin
>>alec bladwin is insurtin durh ass apple now fo fayk twat seance
>gay niggas summon jfk victum to chaturbate
goldman sachs teabaggurs run out 'yomama' jokes aftur jelly donut city war of moustache riding is prol french an surrender
> >>21770239 (You)
>> >>21770232 (You) (You)
>>> >>21770224 (You) (You) (You)
>>>> >>21770215 (You) (You) (You)
>>> >>butt wait
>>>>>"nukin juw faggots "
>>>>>is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206 (You) (You) (You)
>>>>>>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>>>>>>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
>>>>dew sumting alec baldwin
>>>alec bladwin is insurtin durh ass apple now fo fayk twat seance
>>gay niggas summon jfk victum to chaturbate
>goldman sachs teabaggurs run out 'yomama' jokes aftur jelly donut city war of moustache riding is prol french an surrender
teabaggur potato issues urgent 'homofeels' bout lucr
>>>21770249 (You)
>> >>21770239 (You) (You)
>>> >>21770232 (You) (You) (You)
>>>> >>21770224 (You) (You) (You) (You)
>>>>> >>21770215 (You) (You) (You) (You)
>>>> >>butt wait
>>>>>>"nukin juw faggots "
>>>>>>is tv dinnur in uk >>21770206 (You) (You) (You) (You)
>>>>>>>>how dux yur fartin cattle liik to duu ?
>>>>>>>duz yur fartin cattle hav durh Artificial Idiots ?
>>>>>dew sumting alec baldwin
>>>>alec bladwin is insurtin durh ass apple now fo fayk twat seance
>>>gay niggas summon jfk victum to chaturbate
>>goldman sachs teabaggurs run out 'yomama' jokes aftur jelly donut city war of moustache riding is prol french an surrender
>teabaggur potato issues urgent 'homofeels' bout lucr
the other only guy who can get his chopped off knows kids
O' Divine One
As has been proclaimed by the Pirates, Ahoy! for a New Age has come.
Let the printed idols fall before the Awesome might of the Noodle! Let there be singing in the streets and countrysides of the great divinity that is The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Let the Saviors of the past degenerate into the myths they are. Let Boyardee be raised up and with a mighty "Arrr" let the Holy Land be found. And once there let a great monument to the Midget, the Mountain, and the Tree be built and consecrated in the name of the image of the Skull and Crossbones.
The Swords are drawn. The flags are waving and the ships are coming to assault the port of Untruth! Pillaging, plundering, and wenching will commence and when that is done, a great cloud of saucey awesomeness will billow in the image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the highest and most powerful Noodle!
Ramen
>>21770271
>Grant, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thy sauce;
O Lord of Noodliest Noodles,
Please bless us on this holiest of holy days; Friday.
On this day, which we devote to You,
May our noodles never go soft.
My all of your loyal followers be touched by Your noodly appendage,
And may our grog ever be cool and drinkable in Thy name.
RAmen.
-NoodlyAppendage
Massive Rock Oh Craggy Mountain
When we stand on top of thee
Are we really closer to the beer volcano
Or is this just a psychological trick based upon
Relative height to ground, and the ‘invisible sky daddy’ concept?
Magnificent Lofty Matterhorn of Love
Your slopes do cradle thy Mountain and Tree
And nurture thy Midget workings of Basil and Pasta Sauce
And is Mount Rushmore really an example of Intelligent Design?
Or is this analogy yea verily the work of a nutty fruitcake?
And in thy science classrooms Oh Great One
Shall Gutzom Borghlum’s work transcend the Great One’s works
For he too was an intelligent designer; real, while the other is implied
Like Father Christmas, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy
And chocolate eggs are irreducibly complex in my tummy!
In thy breezy solitude oh Great Summit
Shall your icy cap be a visible reminder of the power, the powder and the glory
Of our divine makers sauciness
A radiant reminder of his wriggly, jiggly, wobbly, globby creations
Prostrate at your semolina-like tentacley tendrils
And we intelligently ask this in The Holy Designers name
RAmen
Monster grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the Noodle to know the difference.
RAmen
-NoodleNet
Oh Dual Orbed One in the Sky
Thy carbohydrated-ness is reknown throughout the land
For thy appendage has touched our humble Pastafarian flock
And in our praise to thee, do we thank thee for extending your noodley appendage.
For a life of dogma sure beats living in the real world!
And with thine eye stalks, does thee watch over your Piratey Brethren
For they are both googly and snail like. And Gastropods are yea verily really cool with the kids.
And in our worship to thee, do we acknowledge that you watch over us.
Like Betty Bowers or a Military Satellite.
For thine privacy is forfeit in your eyes.
But thine mystery of thine Pulsating Meat Balls doth perplex us
They are dual Halos, (without the X-Box) which radiate thy warmth with great glee, meatiness and herbiness.
For your mincey goodness be forfeit without much garlic and onion.
And in our thoughts of thee, do we boys ponder your wobbly bits.
For a man doth think about sex every 10 seconds according to many womans magazines.
And testosterone can yea verily be a real bummer.
For it doth cause many of the worlds problems, including
24 hour sports channels and badly acted martial arts movies.
And in multiple choice format, we doth ask thee:
a) Are thee man? For thy Holy orbs possess crown jewel like qualities. (cue spine tingling music)
b) Are thee woman? For thy Holy orbs put Pamela Anderson to shame
c) Are thee both? For the post modern era doth allow many possibilities
d) Are thee are non of the above?
For thine answer is d). Lock in d)!!
For we shall praise thee in all our Might Oh Great Lord/Lordette that your sexless form shall provide inspiration and equality to Pastafarians across the land.
For subordination of women and separation of roles is an abomination in your eye stalks.
Yes thy humble snail is also a hermaphrodite, intelligently designed in your image. But alas thy brethren the slug did yea verily cop a raw deal, without thy ‘Mini-Winnebago’ for shelter.
And as your tentacles brush the lands of the holy mountain, shall we your pastafarian people extol thee with much joy.
For the mystery of thine balls shall result in much fragmented thinking, counter movement and disagreement, like most theological thinking.
For thine balls are the Meatiness, the Mince and the Seasoning.
For Ever and Ever,
RAmen
Oh Great Foliage.
Thy magnificence doth shroud thy Bobby Mountain.
And following creation by the Great One, you do sit awsesomely.
For thy roots hold much soil, preventing erosion and siltation
Oh Magnificent Shrubbery
With thy leafy goodness do your loyal Midgets espouse thee
For all but the Lumberjack shall plunder your booty
And I’m talking timber here, not Beyonce!
Oh Great Forested One
Shall thy xylem and phloem transport your nutrients
And make you grow big, leafy and beefy
For your photosynthesis doth provide much air (of the not hot variety)
Oh Leafy, Green Stalky, Thingy
When ye is hacked mercilessly from the forest
May your timber provide shelter and furniture from thy Midget workings
And shall those touristy timber souvenirs be forever banned
Oh Bushy, Brushy, Timbery One
Through summer and winter do thee doth endure great hardship
For you are most sturdy and durable like Calvin Klein undies
That is until thy chainsaw and front end loader doth smite thee
Oh Wooded, Cellulosy, Groundstick
When old age doth result in much dropping of the limb
Shall you sprout forth much foliage, green, bushy and brushy
For the Pirates shall require your assistance to reduce global warming
And shall thee dwell on the slopes of Bobby Mountain for ever more
RAmen
Oh Green Leafy Hedge
Should thee obstruct my multi-million dollar harbour view
I shall poison and ring bark thee with glee
For a deforested suburb shall yea verily lose it’s real estate value
Oh Scared Mountain Foliage
Thy leaves shall shed from thee
Like hair from a Holy Bald Midget
For thy Midget shall find comfort in thy wig and thy merkan (if he’s that unfortunate)
Oh Blessed Scrub Tendrils
Thine branches are like the Great Ones Noodly Appendages
Spreading forth from the Great Strip Club in the sky
To touch thee like thee has never been touched previously
Oh Rigid Pole with Green Leafy Bits and Root
They garden doth harbour thy great beauty with bird and insect
Until thy man-of-the-house shall hack thee to the bare bone
For trimming shrubs is yea verily a real bummer
Oh Decidous Barky One
Shall the FSM answer thy great mystery of thy Leaf Blower
For they are noisy but do bugger all…
Except blowing leaves from one pile to another
And in the days when we ascend to the great Beer
Volcano in the sky. Shall the Garden of Eden possess
Trees that grow both pasta and stripper
For that would make me a very happy camper indeed!!
And thy abomination The Leaf Blower shall be banned from the House of our Lord. For ever and ever.
RAmen
Author’s Note: A traditional working song sung by the Midgets of Bobby Mountain and translated from the original language of Midget Bork – as spoken in the Holy Book of Midgets.
This song may be sung or prayed in either English, Midget or Piratese as a round. It is rumoured that the Flying Spaghetti Monster decrees bonus Beer and Strippers will be forthcoming to those who can sing the prayer in the Ancient Midget Tongue (please confirm this Olive Garden).
And it is also well rumoured that Qwerty may be one of those on extra rations come the afterlife.
Picking up the basil (Picking up the basil)
Put in the pot (Put it in the pot)
Stir it in with noodles (Stir it in with noodles)
Eat the bloomin’ lot (Eat the bloomin’ lot)
Picking up the basil (Picking up the basil)
Blimey it get’s hot (Blimey it get’s hot)
Think I’ll go inside now (Think I’ll go inside now)
Switch on telly, sit on bot (Switch on telly sit on bot)
Picking up the basil (Picking up the basil)
Hungry not a lot (Hungry not a lot)
Think I’ve got constipation (Think I’ve got constipation)
Small intestine in a knot (Small intestine in a knot)
Picking up the basil (Picking up the basil)
Science is a blast (Science is a blast)
Dedicated to our future (Dedicated to our future)
Definitely not our past (Definitely not our past)
Picking up the basil (Picking up the basil)
Noodly Monster is the way (Noodly Monster is the way)
To get to Stripper Heaven (To get to Stripper Heaven)
And drinkin’ beer all day (And drinkin’ beer all day)
Picking up the basil (Picking up the basil)
Wish I had more hair (Wish I had more hair)
It amuses Spaghetti Monster (It amuses Spaghetti Monster)
And that’s not really fair (And that’s not really fair)
Repeat again or alternatively if your hungry; start eating!
Alternatively in Midget Bork:
Zee Beseel Peeckers Preyer
Peecking up zee beseel (Peecking up zee beseel)
Poot in zee put (Poot it in zee put)
Stur it in veet nuudles (Stur it in veet nuudles)
Iet zee bluumeen’ lut (Iet zee bluumeen’ lut)
[i]Peecking up zee beseel (Peecking up zee beseel)
Bleemey it gets hut (Bleemey it gets hut)
Theenk I’ll gu inseede-a noo (Theenk I’ll gu inseede-a noo)
Sveetch oon telly, seet oon but (Sveetch oon telly seet oon but)
Peecking up zee beseel (Peecking up zee beseel)
Hoongry nut a lut (Hoongry nut a lut)
Theenk I’fe-a gut cunsteepeshun (Theenk I’fe-a gut cunsteepeshun)
Smell intesteene-a in a knut (Smell intesteene-a in a knut)
Peecking up zee beseel (Peecking up zee beseel)
Sceeence-a is a blest (Sceeence-a is a blest)
Dedeeceted tu oooor footoore-a (Dedeeceted tu oooor footoore-a)
Deffeenitely nut oooor pest (Deffeenitely nut oooor pest)
Peecking up zee beseel (Peecking up zee beseel)
Nuudly Munster is zee vey (Nuudly Munster is zee vey)
Tu get tu Streepper Heefee (Tu get tu Streepper Heefee)
Und dreenkin’ beer ell dey (Und dreenkin’ beer ell dey)
Peecking up zee beseel (Peecking up zee beseel)
Veesh I hed mure-a heur (Veesh I hed mure-a heur)
It emooses Speghettee Munster (It emooses Speghettee Munster)
Und thets nut reelly feur (Und thets nut reelly feur)
Repeet egeeen oor elterneteefely iff yuoor hoongry; stert ieteeng! Bork Bork Bork!
-DaveL
Ponderance Of Thy Balls
Oh Dual Orbed One in the Sky
Thy carbohydrated-ness is reknown throughout the land
For thy appendage has touched our humble Pastafarian flock
And in our praise to thee, do we thank thee for extending your noodley appendage.
For a life of dogma sure beats living in the real world!
And with thine eye stalks, does thee watch over your Piratey Brethren
For they are both googly and snail like. And Gastropods are yea verily really cool with the kids.
And in our worship to thee, do we acknowledge that you watch over us.
Like Betty Bowers or a Military Satellite.
For thine privacy is forfeit in your eyes.
But thine mystery of thine Pulsating Meat Balls doth perplex us
They are dual Halos, (without the X-Box) which radiate thy warmth with great glee, meatiness and herbiness.
For your mincey goodness be forfeit without much garlic and onion.
And in our thoughts of thee, do we boys ponder your wobbly bits.
For a man doth think about sex every 10 seconds according to many womans magazines.
And testosterone can yea verily be a real bummer.
For it doth cause many of the worlds problems, including
24 hour sports channels and badly acted martial arts movies.
And in multiple choice format, we doth ask thee:
a) Are thee man? For thy Holy orbs possess crown jewel like qualities. (cue spine tingling music)
b) Are thee woman? For thy Holy orbs put Pamela Anderson to shame
c) Are thee both? For the post modern era doth allow many possibilities
d) Are thee are non of the above?
For thine answer is d). Lock in d)!!
For we shall praise thee in all our Might Oh Great Lord/Lordette that your sexless form shall provide inspiration and equality to Pastafarians across the land.
For subordination of women and separation of roles is an abomination in your eye stalks.
Yes thy humble snail is also a hermaphrodite, intelligently designed in your image. But alas thy brethren the slug did yea verily cop a raw deal, without thy ‘Mini-Winnebago’ for shelter.
And as your tentacles brush the lands of the holy mountain, shall we your pastafarian people extol thee with much joy.
For the mystery of thine balls shall result in much fragmented thinking, counter movement and disagreement, like most theological thinking.
For thine balls are the Meatiness, the Mince and the Seasoning.
For Ever and Ever,
RAmen
Our Daily Pasta
Our monster so great, such art in the plate
Hallowed be thy scrummy yummy juicy sauces
Thy kingdom come, some day, but not too late:
Before we move onto our second courses!
Give us this day our daily pasta
And forgive us if we sometimes overcook it
As we forgive them who eat it much faster
(The important thing is not to overlook it!)
And lead us not into false consummation
Of dire dodgy dishes: nasty noodles or Ramen
For thine is the source of the saucy sensation
Forever and ever Spaghetti Monster amen!
-tris