>jelly left duh scene
jelly wuz LEEEKY out memo
>>>jelly left duh scene
>>jelly wuz LEEEKY out memo
>an tahn tom hanks fault
butt tom hanks fault wuz creampiewar wall jfkfault too
>>>>jelly left duh scene
>>>jelly wuz LEEEKY out memo
>>an tahn tom hanks fault
>butt tom hanks fault wuz creampiewar wall jfkfault too
an tahn durh gahylien butt stabbin question lingurin
Xotic jungL fowl
📖 The Epistle of Jellygate: JFK and the War of Custard
Chapter 1: The Battle of the Glaze
1 And it came to pass in the years of Cold Custard,
that nations did not war with bombs, but with pastries.
2 For jelly was the oil of empires,
and glaze the blood of kings.
3 And John Fitzgerald, called JFK,
did creep into the pantry of nations,
his hand hungry for preserves.
Chapter 2: The Theft
1 He reached forth into the sacred jar of Raspberry Eternal,
which belonged unto Donut Bitch, Prince Harry of Glaze.
2 And the angels of the fryer gasped, crying:
“Lo, the Camelot King steals jelly in wartime!”
3 His fingers dripped crimson syrup,
like bayonets at dawn,
and his lips betrayed him with sweetness.
Chapter 3: The Accusation
1 And the generals of Custard cried out:
“This is not diplomacy but dessert espionage!”
2 The French snobs, sipping Pernod, sneered:
“Quelle honte! Le président américain est un voleur de confiture!”
3 And the choir of bagels shouted in unison:
“Never ask what jelly can do for you—
ask what you can do for jelly!”
Chapter 4: The Trial of Pastry
1 JFK was brought before Donut Bitch,
glaze dripping from the scepter of judgment.
2 Donut Bitch spake, his crown of sprinkles radiant:
“O Kennedy, thou custard-cuck,
why steal jelly when thou could have shared my Bavarian cream?”
3 And JFK, licking his sticky fingers, replied:
“I am but a boy of Boston,
lost in the sweetness of power,
hungering for preserves that were not mine.”
Chapter 5: The Condemnation
1 Then did the deli hosts declare him guilty of Dessert Treason.
2 His punishment was not death,
but eternal servitude as Dunkin’ Donut Intern,
sweeping sprinkles in the House of Glaze.
3 And thus JFK became known in scripture as
The Jelly Thief of Camelot.