I think I'm going to still call him "Prince Andrew"
they didn't 'disown him'
they totally owned him.
they gave him their real name back.
now everyone who sees that name will say 'who is that?' and do the research and realize that these are just people like anyone else squating in royal houses and doing a very very poor job of sharing the wealth.
Talk to a Catholic Priest about this.
everyone goes through stuff, you're not the only one.
'cursed his name?'
that's pretty low.
God isn't a feeling. You're not there to get favors.
You're there to love him. You seem to never have realized that.
Pity is another attempt to justify yourself.
Jesus Christ will, of course, forgive you.
but as far as a lot of others who read what you did, a kind of 'sin-porn' presentation: we might say 'cut it out and tell God, don't tell us.'
God is the one you sinned against, not us.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_of_the_Cross
St. John of the Cross discussed 'Spiritual dryness' and explained it in detail.
It's a bit dense and you might read about him instead of trying to read him directly.
It's very deep and not easy to read or learn about.
But as far as looking for 'feelings' or 'results': you need to stop doing that. And if you don't get what you ask for, stop blaming The Lord.
The Lord always comes through and saves you in the end, right? He's not a cotton candy machine. He's not a spiritual slot machine.
you should not demand results.
and plus: the feelings you get sometimes in prayer are NOT the point of prayer.
It's to commune with Jesus Christ!
So stop your snivling and buck up and accept that He's going to forgive you!
You've asked him?
if you don't 'feel' the forgiveness, as I said in my other post: talk to a priest. Maybe you're not Catholic.
the sacrement of reconciliation is a very powerful experience and it's a very useful thing to make a confession to a priest. If you aren't Catholic, I suppose you could still go confess to a priest. I don't know what he'll tell you but as Persona Christi he's going to do good by you. He can at least bless you.