where is everyone

“If he can’t control what’s posted on his Truth Social account, how can he lead the country?” a high-ranking White Hat source said of President Trump and the primate scandal that rocked the nation Friday morning.

Late Thursday night, a meme depicting Trump as Mufasa from The Lion King and Democrats as inferior mammals surfaced on the president’s Truth Social account. Embedded in the video was a one-second clip showing the heads of Barack Obama (Barry Soetoro) and Michelle Obama (Michael Robinson) superimposed on the bodies of gorillas. Cries of blatant racism immediately engulfed the Internet, and prompted a comment from Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, who accused the left of manufacturing fake outrage over an innocuous meme.

“This is from an internet meme video depicting President Trump as the King of the Jungle and Democrats as characters from The Lion King. Please stop the fake outrage and report on something today that actually matters to the American public,” she said.

Instead of tempering the escalating fury, her comments enflamed an already fiery political atmosphere, enraging netizens and politicians on both sides of the fence. Senator Tim Scott (R-SC), a Trump ally, called the meme the most racist thing he had ever seen on the internet. Within hours, the White House changed its narrative; unbeknownst to Trump, an unnamed staffer with access to his Truth Social account had reposted the meme.

Three thousand miles away, in the halls of Camp Pendleton, home to the White Hat council, military brass empowered by Trump to take down the Deep State were pondering a poignant question: Who exactly has access to Trump’s social media accounts? And for what reason?

According to our source, the council was less concerned about the meme’s context than the ramifications of a potential adversary gaining access to the most powerful man in the world’s social media feeds. Invoking the pen is mightier than the sword axiom, he said a malign actor could sow chaos, manipulate public opinion, provoke international incidents, or even ignite World War III.

“His [President Trump’s] is the most watched social media account in the world,” our source said. “It’s the council’s opinion only he should have access to it.”

He said the council discussed hypothetical scenarios where unvetted staffers used Trump’s account to announce false military mobilizations or inflammatory rhetoric against allies, sparking diplomatic firestorms.

“In the wrong hands, the president’s account could be used to start a civil war,’ our source added. “Imagine a Deep Fake post declaring war on China, with an AI video of ICBMs launching. The ripple effects might cause real conflict before verification kicks in. Giving others access to his account is a clear and present danger. If it were up to us, whoever made that post would be arrested for impersonating the President of the United States.”

The list of people known to have access to the president’s account is short, including Dan Scavino and presidential aide Natalie Harp, who is often seen following the president with a portable printer.

Asked whether Gen. Smith intends to share his concerns with POTUS, our source said, “Unknown. But if he does, I hope POTUS heeds his advice.”