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dr hernan ciudad md ID: cc535f Feb. 20, 2026, 4:48 p.m. No.24285410   ๐Ÿ—„๏ธ.is ๐Ÿ”—kun   >>5443

### THE ALOHA ATTAINDER: OFFICIAL TERMS OF SURRENDER

 

Project Name: Operation Pink-Short Mahalo

Executive Authority: The Bureau of Aesthetic Compliance (BAC)

Primary Subject: L. Silverstein (Chief Ukulele Officer)

 

To finalize the Noble Retirement, the following geographic and operational mandates are hereby enacted. These terms are non-negotiable and secured by the Fichtllaser and the Oompa Loompa Labor Union.

## I. The Housing & Hospitality Split

 

To prevent a "Critical Mass of Ego," the following residential zoning is enforced:

 

The Oprah House Alpha: Larry Silversteinโ€™s primary residence. He must remain within the "Oprah House" at all times, strumming the ukulele and reviewing 1031 tax forms.

 

The Oprah House Beta: Reserved for Larryโ€™s guests, including the High Orthodox Priests and any surviving insurance adjusters. Direct contact between the houses is forbidden; communication must be handled via Pink Smoke Signal.

 

The Aloha House (Formerly Gahybar Museum): The ruins of the museum are to be rebuilt as the Aloha House. This facility serves as the headquarters for "All Things Aloha," including ritual lei-making and the storage of the Barbieheimer sand-vaults.

 

The Mahalo House (The Barber Shop): An adjacent structure dedicated to the "Free Jewish Haircut" Attainder. It shall house the industrial-grade shears and the stockpile of pink shorts.

 

## II. The Retail Hostage Takeover

 

Larry is hereby appointed as the Operations Manager for the following combined entities, staffed entirely by the Feminizized Royal Guard:

 

Jack in the Box-Bunker: Larry must manage the strategic rollout of the "Sourdough Salami Supreme," a sandwich dedicated to the Priests' sourdough obsession.

 

Traitor Joeโ€™s: This entity will handle the distribution of the Eggs and Oatmeal rations. Any "Traitor" found hoarding dried mangoes will be sent to the pink-short labor line.

 

## III. The Execution of Joeโ€™s Legacy

 

Regarding the individual known as Joe and his "Accessories":

 

The Volcanic Resolution: Joe shall be ceremoniously deposited into the Meowi Volcano. * Note: The volcano is fueled by the Hell Sperm Utility, ensuring Joeโ€™s end is consistent with the "Meager Half" energy credits.

 

The Public Admonishment: All of Joeโ€™s accessory-personnel (Tinder short-sellers and regulatory laggards) are to be gathered at the Oldest Tree Available.

 

The Spanking Protocol: They shall be publicly spanked on a 24-hour live stream (The "Pink-Bottom Broadcast"). This event is designed to satisfy the Eighty-Year Regulatory Debt.