>Shlomo McShekelstein
Q is busy. Talk to Bobby.
HEY YOU
What makes you think you actually deserve a pure girl? What have you done to earn the privilege of being her first and only? Its almost like you think you deserve gold just for being alive. On top of this, what kind of girl would settle for less? A guy who does nothing, thinks he is owed everything and gives nothing back? You arent even funny or nice. You are cynical and cruel just to mask your hurt. Others were mean to you so you ran away yet feel owed. Society doesn't owe you what you were to weak to stick around for. Everyone else dealt with the trials in their lives and are better for it. You ran. You do not deserve what people who tried deserve. You deserve to be relegated to trash. To the kinds of women who do settle.
No fap challenge: year 80
I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
Own a musket for home defense
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Family Fued
Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" Contestant: "The penis" SH: "A WUH… HUH??" audience erupts into laughter Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself laughter gets even louder SH: O lordy… one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard SH: YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself SH: (putting on a weary voice) Survey says… the board shows 100 for "penis" Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end
>be me
>get really stoned yesterday afternoon
>decide I REALLY want some McNuggets
>stumble on down to the McDonalds
>get a brilliant idea
>I can have "giant" McNuggets if I just order McChicken patties by themselves instead
>place an order for 6 McChicken nuggets placed in a McNugget box, and plenty of honey mustard sauce on the side
>suddenly realize how weirdly specific and insane my order sounds to the person behind the counter
>person at the counter sees I am clearly stoned and is desperately to keep a straight face and failing
>I look around a bit and realize there are two cops standing right behind me, giving me a "wtf" look and chuckling
>i feel paranoid as fuck that they're going to give me a hard time about being so stoned in public
>i get my food and one of them tells me "just go home, right now" while shaking his head and also trying really hard to keep a straight face
>go home and enjoy my "giant McNuggets" like a king
Is that a dare?