BREAKING: "CrowdStrike announces they will analyze Paul Krugman's laptop for the Mexican cartel-owned New York Times"
"John Podesta released a statement today agreeing in full will 'whichever Russian president CrowdStrike eventually fingers".
"Fiona Hill released a statement today saying that Crowdstrike is almost certain to find inserted text that implicates Russia."
"Ben Rhodes, James Clapper, Michael Hayden, John Brennan and Jeb Bush held a news conference to say that they were all certain, 'One way or another, Crowdstrike will determine it was the Russians.'"
Later in the day, nearly 5,000 former Obama snd Clinton officials signed a petition released jointly by the New York Times and Washington Post to prevent any US intelligence or law enforcement agency from ever reviewing Krugman's laptop citing, 'That is just what Putin would want."
Former Hollywood child sex symbol Allyssa Milano announced a bare-breasted protest that would march from the senior center on K Street all the way to the White House, "To show the world how lopsided and uneven justice is in America."
Lae last night Robert Mueller announced that he had reviewed Twitter posts by Krugman and the New York Times and had determined beyond a reasonable doubt, "That it was a professional team of Russian hackers who likely reported to Putin."
Former Attorney General Loretta Lynch made several calls to regional US Attorneys offices as well to numerous local law enforcement union officials but the details of those calls were not released.
Jim Carey allegedly finished a new painting, which totally wasn't done by anyone else and he wasn't being paid for, bashing President Trump about Krugman's laptop contents.
A rep for disgraced former Congressman Anthony Weiner said they had no comment today.
In other news Eric Prince is scheduled for a national radio interview later today.