My Dad was fair high ranked in one of the 3 letter agencies. A few years back, he was able to get me a position inside Buckingham Castle. At first, it sounded exciting to me but in no time it turned into a perpetual grind.

In fact, I used to bug-put and go across the river to the London Eye and look for Spanish Girls. You can always tell the girls from Spain as they talk loud and sound like they are yelling at you. They are also very touchy-feely too, so it is just like eating KFC as it is "finger licking good" and then "one thing leads to another". But that is another story all together.

What surprised me the most about working at Buckingham is how much they all drink. I am here to tell you that the Queen starts to drink about an hour after she wakes up. By noon most days she is completely shit faced. And she has a mouth that sounds worst than a truck driver too. You definitely do not want to piss her off, so everybody there tried their best to stay out of her way.

I didn't see too much of the other "royals" as they would come in and go rather quickly. Usually just for required events or ceremonies. For the most part they were friendly, but it was that false friendly as you could tell they didn't really listen to a thing you said.

Andrew was there the most. We used to joke that his wallet was running low so had to stop by for a fill-up. He drank a hell of a lot too and used chemicals as well. And when he and the Queen would get together, they would drink. A lot. They would talk buy neither listened to a word the other was saying.

The Queen did like young girls. She would say they were so adorable. We could tell there was more going on than meets the eye. In that respect, the whole family could be freaky and creapy at times. We just pretended that everything was normal and fine. Some of the staff reported that Charles really enjoyed getting spankings from Camilla. We used a code-name for him called "Naughtly Bad Boy".

Naturally, none of this is real as it is a very slow night and I thought I'd add a little humor to the chan.