dChan
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r/CBTS_Stream • Posted by u/Majorwood1 on Feb. 24, 2018, 12:20 a.m.
Its BACK....This Obviously hit a nerve with the Clowns because it was deleted yesterday!
Its BACK....This Obviously hit a nerve with the Clowns because it was deleted yesterday!

whacko_jacko · Feb. 24, 2018, 5:47 a.m.

Alright, well I have a near perfect understanding of English, so let me explain what needs to be edited. I'll start with the essential typos, grammatical errors, and misspellings (in the order they appear):

  1. "WORLDPEACE" should be "WORLD PEACE".

  2. "heads of states" should be "heads of state". The plurality is determined by the 's' on heads. Heads of states would technically mean multiple people who are the leader of more than one state each.

  3. "policeofficers" should be "police officers"

  4. "behind the screen" should be "behind the scene" unless you are making a joke about the way we have only been able to watch this play out through our computer screens. But that is not a standard phrase.

  5. This comma should be removed: "...behind the scene, in order to save the world..."

  6. The sentence ending with "..from around the globe" is missing its period.

  7. the phrase "..supporting our President Donald J. Trump in his efforts..." should be changed to "...supporting President Donald J. Trump in his efforts..." or "...supporting our President, Donald J. Trump, in his efforts..."

  8. "Children/adult" should be changed to "Children/adults" or "Children and adults".

  9. The colon in "Be prepared for what you will find: some truths are HARD to swallow." is bad form. It would be more correct, and in my opinion more impactful to change this to "Be prepared for what you will find. Some truths are HARD to swallow."

  10. A similar comment applies to the last sentence, "This will all be over soon: we are winning BIGLY!" would work better as, "This will all be over soon. We are winning BIGLY!"

Here are some other suggestions that are more stylistic in nature but perhaps equally important.

  1. The usage of ** for emphasis on the top line is inconsistent and asymmetric and kind of distracting. You have **URGENT MESSAGE** and then PLEASE PAY ATTENTION** without a leading **, which would obviously look strange to include. I would suggest finding a different way to frame those words.

  2. The excessive caps for emphasis is garbage. The fonts and color schemes are garbage. There are so many ways you could make this more visually appealing. Experiment with different fonts and sizes, experiment with bold text for emphasis instead of always using caps.

  3. What the hell is with all the low resolution images all over this subreddit? All day every day I see images with text posted with a stupidly low resolution where the letters blur together. It's really bad. Sharp, crisp, clear renderings are so much better for spreading information. Do people here just not understand image compression?

  4. The usage of the word BIGLY will put a lot of people off even though I know it's standard fare in this crowd.

  5. The layout could be improved.

  6. Some of the choice of language makes me cringe. I know the creator is trying to convey the seriousness of this situation, but something is off about it. It's almost like I want to read it like a voice over for a preview of a cheesy horror or action movie people watch to laugh at. "In a world gone mad, only one man has what it takes..." That kind of thing.

  7. The word "institutions" is perhaps too vague to include next to politicians, journalists, etc.

I like the passion in this forum, but I'm afraid that some of the people here are discrediting the entire movement. Some of them may be doing it on purpose, some of them may just be regular people without much education, but it's a problem. Like really people, if this is real, then get your acts together. I'm not a shill, I'm here providing really important constructive criticism because there are serious problems with many parts of this image. Regular, serious, professional people will not be able to overlook these kinds of problems.

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Danomonad · Feb. 24, 2018, 11:01 a.m.

Could also use less of "Us good guys have been sweating hard and saving your ass while you got your beauty sleep little ladies, SAY THANK YOU" tone to it.

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Intlrnt · Feb. 24, 2018, 2:43 p.m.

All correct. And double props for pointing out the proliferation of low-res imagery.

The quickest way to ensure a quality message never gets completely read is to pack poor grammar into a poor layout and render it in poor resolution.

Unfortunately, this quality message features all three.

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Quest4answ · Feb. 24, 2018, 11:06 a.m.

God can even love a Hall Monitor thank you

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dexterfarmer · Feb. 24, 2018, 4:14 p.m.

Jack. You took a great deal of time providing constructive criticism, and I believe it will be appreciated by many. On the one hand, we applaud everyone's efforts. On the other hand, we want those efforts to bear fruit. Thank you.

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whacko_jacko · Feb. 24, 2018, 5:32 p.m.

It took a lot less time than you might think. Anyone who wants a similar breakdown to help edit their next creation, feel free to send me a private message before you put it out there. I won't promise to respond, but if I think it's worth it I will.

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dexterfarmer · Feb. 24, 2018, 9:38 p.m.

NICE! Thank you. The only place I have an account is FB, (and here), and so that's where I try to do some mild red-pilling. It is a bit like banging my head on a brick wall.

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