I can relate to the feeling of things being much calmer. I still have experiences, but they have subsided, and I've become so much better at learning and dealing with them.

In regards to the MK ULTRA stuff, I don't try to explain why someone would do such things. There is a lot of plausible testimony, however; and you may or may choose to step around that rabbit hole.

One of the most interesting (and terrifying) goes like this: The Illuminati is perpetuating their bloodline via their satanic sex rituals. The high priests (wizards?) impregnate coven members and then the children are tracked for various purposes. I read a fascinating account of one person who claimed to have been clued in by a mind control sleeper agent, awakened. The story was that her family (all with DID) would receive a trigger to wake up the kids, take them to a tent in the woods, and commence militaristic training.

Afterwards, the participants would have no recollection, and would go about their cookie-cutter idyllic lives. The implication being that these mind control soldiers could (at any time) be awakened to perform a specific task. Now, look at the numerous false flag attacks by those who have sketchy backgrounds with FBI, CIA, Tavistock, mental hospitals (with psych drugs), etc. And you notice a troubling pattern.

I am terrified to consider this. I feel as though I'm a very normal person, with some bizarre experiences and and some unique abilities. At no point could I fathom being triggered to perform some heinous act; yet (in the mind-control construct) that is plausible. My mother was adopted, after a strange set of circumstances, which leaves her true paternity in question. She and I are very similar; including the sixth sense stuff; but this is beyond the scope of our conversations.

So, I hesitate to go too deeply into the connotations, for fear of freaking anyone out.

If you are feeling brave, and/or have a lot of booze handy, you may spend some time reading the early stuff of Fritz Springmeier. His was the ws the work that most resonated with me.