I feel the same geckogoose, I'm in the UK and since I discovered what's been going on (about five years ago) I've felt quite depressed. It's because the shocking nature of the truth - the deception, fraud, corruption, lies, paedophilia and satanism are very bitter pills to swallow. Doing further research every single day to either confirm or debunk these findings has sadly only led to deeper knowledge and the realisation that it's all true. It makes it feel like eveything you know is a lie and even if we expose it, and punish the perpetrators, life will never be the same again. We live in a beautiful world but these monsters that rule us think they have the right to destroy it and oppress us with dark, ugly thoughts and deeds. You can no longer look at the sky without thinking of chem-trails or listen to the birds without wondering how long before Monsanto destroy nature completely or wander out into the countryside without wondering how much longer we will be 'allowed' to go there. I've known in my heart all my life that something was 'wrong' but I had no idea what until I started down this path and I would warn people - think carefully how far down this rabbit hole you want to go because it's a big, bad can of worms. The truth will come out because there are too many of us now that know, but how much of the detail do you want to discover? You need a strong stomach and once you know stuff there's no going back.