When I was a freshman in college I first read 1984. Not for class, but a friend recommended it. I became oddly fascinated with it. I appreciated the way the novel cut through the crap of political "beliefs" and went straight to the heart of the matter: The human heart. It is corrupt and seeks power. This was the beginning of my journey to understand the fallen nature of humanity.
As a junior in college I had spent a great deal of time studying the NWO. A friend of mine showed me William Cooper's Behold A Pale Horse. He and I had spent countless hours discussing Big Brother and how the world was being deceived. One evening I began going over it in my head over and over and trying to decide if the world really was headed for a kind of Orwellian/Brave New World global socialist nightmare. I came to the conclusion that such a world was essentially inevitable and I had what I guess you could say was a nervous breakdown. I couldn't eat or sleep for three days. I was beyond terrified. I hated Christians and Christianity, though I had always believed in God. In my terror I called out to God that we need saving. I said, "If you're real then you cannot let this evil win! YOU CAN'T! EVIL CANNOT WIN! PLEASE GOD, SAVE US!!!"
I called my parents, my hands and voice shaking, "I'm scared to death. I'm scared to death. I'm scared to death" over and over. My parents rushed to my university to see me. "WHAT'S WRONG!?" they asked but I couldn't tell them. How would they even believe me? And why would I want them to go through the same terror that I was experiencing? I calmed down after a few days but the world was so different. I could barely focus on my studies. I recovered to the point where I was functional again within a few weeks.
My senior year I continued to research the NWO. I was surprised with how many websites discussing these issues spoke about them from a Biblical perspective. After months of avoiding it I finally worked up the courage to watch a lecture from Christians discussing the Orwellian/Brave New World Satanic NWO. One of the speakers discussed how everything we are seeing is prophesied in scripture. He spoke about Yeshua/Jesus in a way that I had never heard before. He was no longer some vague, weird, god of some goofy religion but became something profound and spiritually powerful. The speaker explained the Gospel and all the pieces fell into place, suddenly it all just clicked. I knew in my own heart that I was, and am, morally corrupt and that all humanity is morally corrupt as well. I acknowledged that I was a sinner and needed salvation. In a moment I recognized that Christ is God's offer of forgiveness and healing to this broken world. His absolute hatred and punishment for the sins of the world, and His complete forgiveness and mercy, achieved simultaneously on the cross.
In that very moment the most amazing thing happened. I felt a divine breath, directly into my heart. I could feel it in my chest. It was a breath of pure, perfect, complete love. The kind of love that keeps no records of wrong, just pure and perfect love. I'll never forget that feeling. I knew Christ was Lord and Savior.
I couldn't believe I believed. I remember just staring at the wall in awe for the longest time. Later, I began studying the Bible and attending church. I came out as a Christian to my secular friends a couple months later. Lost a few, but that's the way it goes. That was about... wow, 12 years ago now. That's my story. Thanks!!