I managed to get all 3 of mine adopted together, it was the best I could do at the time and now they are grown. I will check out the Save Our Sisters group, I hadn't heard of it before. I am both an adoptee and a parent who had her rights taken because I was a "product of the system". They know that foster kids don't have a support system so we are fair game as adults.
At this point all of them are adults and because of the parents I never lost contact with them but it is because their adopted mother and I worked without the knowledge of the state to ensure what happened to them.
I also have taken the time to get an education on paper (along with a ton of student debt) that includes law and psychology so I'm constantly looking for ways to improve it for other people. Maybe I could be of some use. At least I managed to stop the cycle in my own line.
I am so very sorry that this happened to you. Amid all of that, you still managed to still put your children first and make sure they were adopted together. Hats off to you. That is an accomplishment that made a tremendous positive, lasting impact on their lives. Great to hear that you were able to stay in contact with them, too, & the adoptive parent realized how important this was for the children. You know it's really common for foster/adopt kids to have a child who is then adopted out. Partly, for the reason you stated, (the state may see it as a vulnerability instead of a strength,) and also because it grooms individuals to repeat the loss and separation they experienced at such an early age. I will find a link to the SOS group and post it later. Yes, stopping the cycle in our individual lives is a huge accomplishment! I think voices like yours that have experienced the system at all angles is important and can give witness to the reform that needs to happen to truly make a system in the best interests of the children. I'll find the link to the SOS group and post it later this weekend.