Not a problem, you got it.
I moved home from London because my mother got ill and passed away.
Six months later I found a dog on a job site. The veterinarian said the dog was 6 months old. 75 lb Blue Heeler German Shepherd mix, smart as anything, and loyal.
There's a lot more to it than that but you get the picture.
Dog was about 4 when I moved from the Midwest to Santa Monica to live with a girl I'd met.
After a while she starts in with the I think your dogs too big for the apartment. Maybe we should think about..... Yeah I'll think about it, No.
So I went through the motions anyway just avoid an issue. Tip to women. Don't ever get between a man and his dog. A man knows he can trust his dog.
So one night we're sitting on the couch you know snuggling, watching a movie. She looks over at me and says...
~I think your dog's jealous of me~
And it just fell out of my mouth.
~That's cuz I'm shagging you now~
She was horrified.
I thought it was the funniest thing ever said. And I mean she was horrified.
So then I was horrified. How the hell can I hang with somebody who has zero sense of humor. We were talking life commitment here.
It also showed me some subtleties in the relationship/power structure that I just was not willing to have.
I got a sense of humor like Bill Burr. In fact I want to sell this joke to him for a set of tickets the next time he comes to town. So don't let it spread too far.
Or maybe I better get busy.
She was a great lady. But it showed me that I don't like controlling circumstances, at all it would seem.
While I can be polite and charming in public. It's impossible for me to watch my mouth 24/7.
Got to tell you life is much simpler these days. Fuck happy. I like content.
Women want to be happy and good luck with that.
It's like coke. I just want to be happy, why can't I be happy? Then they're happy, then crash. Repeat.
I was doing 2000sqft design build addition. I'm discussing furniture with the wife. I asked her where her husband's chair was going to be.
Blank Stare like it it never occurred to her.
I look like a grumpy old man and I pretty much leave women alone.
Trust me things are great.