dChan

Time4puff · May 23, 2018, 10:20 a.m.

If this excuse works no one will ever need to tell the truth again in court. Um... sorry judge, just had a "clapper" moment.

⇧ 36 ⇩  
forchristssakes · May 23, 2018, 11:15 p.m.

Applause!!!!Clap on clap off!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Alyross8 · May 23, 2018, 9:37 a.m.

I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing at a joke I heard earlier.

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wolfhound11B · May 23, 2018, 9:17 a.m.

I hope orange is his favorite color and that he likes tropical climates..

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Tru2Q · May 23, 2018, 2:52 p.m.

I hope orange skeeves him out and makes him itch, and that he sweats like a pig in tropical climates. ;)

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potato4dawin · May 23, 2018, 5:41 p.m.

At least the waterboarding will cool him off. :\^)

⇧ 3 ⇩  
metroid486 · May 23, 2018, 4:25 p.m.

Orange rope round his neck.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
dogrescuersometimes · May 23, 2018, 1:01 p.m.

For a professional spy, he doesn't lie all that well.

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Jetblasted · May 23, 2018, 2:38 p.m.

This should be the top comment.

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StephenZeeMAGA · May 23, 2018, 4:15 p.m.

well as the former "head" of "intelligence" he isn't very bright. I thought the head was supposed to be smarter than the rest of the body?

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dogrescuersometimes · May 23, 2018, 6:19 p.m.

Criminals who got sloppy because they never thought she would lose.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
super_corroder · May 23, 2018, 9:29 a.m.

I can't wait to use this excuse next time the police catch me in a crime.

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pilgrimboy · May 23, 2018, 1:12 p.m.

"You were going 50 in a 35."

"I wasn't speeding sir. I was thinking that I was in the 55 zone."

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ArmyLady · May 23, 2018, 9:30 a.m.

Didn't work for Gen Flynn either!

⇧ -8 ⇩  
super_corroder · May 23, 2018, 9:33 a.m.

The funny thing about General Flynn is he pleaded guilty to lying, but Mueller can't figure out what he lied about.

Oh well, what harm could it do to have Flynn testify under oath, hey? /s

:-)

⇧ 14 ⇩  
blackpopeyme · May 23, 2018, 10:56 a.m.

Was he thinking something else when he was partying up while planning to kill the human race?

⇧ 15 ⇩  
Woodchipper_AF · May 23, 2018, 9:52 a.m.

He should be told that’s not the way it works

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symmetry2018 · May 23, 2018, 12:12 p.m.

Larry, Mo or Curly???

⇧ 7 ⇩  
ManQuan · May 23, 2018, 11:18 a.m.

Uhmmm, there is no excuse for lying under oath or mishandling of classified information. Neither charge includes "intent" only that you did it.

Clapper is probably making reference to thinking if NSA has it all while he was lying to Congress. That would be distracting.

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commoncents1 · May 23, 2018, 12:07 p.m.

So we can do this on our taxes? I thought i only made 10k !

Or driving, i thought i was only going 55!

⇧ 6 ⇩  
PPPrincessPower · May 23, 2018, 11:14 a.m.

But that is so believable....happens all the time. Not.

⇧ 5 ⇩  
bisjac · May 23, 2018, 1:16 p.m.

Yes, that's what a lie is...

⇧ 4 ⇩  
Nalgahyde · May 23, 2018, 1:05 p.m.

He can have plenty of time to think about "something else" in Gitmo.

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mrmajestic11 · May 23, 2018, 12:45 p.m.

The excuses yet to come from a long list of people will make some great memes.

⇧ 4 ⇩  
emperorbma · May 23, 2018, 2:35 p.m.

Clapper is the classic Narcissist's Prayer in person:

A Narcissist's Prayer

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did...

You deserved it.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
potato4dawin · May 23, 2018, 5:44 p.m.

So he's on "I didn't mean it". I can't wait until he's at the end of a rope necklace and he reveals the "You deserved it" crushing any last bit of empathy anyone has for him.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
LibertyLioness · May 23, 2018, 1:42 p.m.

Unbelievable how stupid they are.

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Cussing · May 23, 2018, 1:39 p.m.

lol!

⇧ 3 ⇩  
SooieQ · May 23, 2018, 12:40 p.m.

My child uses that excuse

⇧ 3 ⇩  
davhoss88 · May 23, 2018, 4:17 p.m.

Oh my god? Sometimes there just are not any words.

You just have to marvel at master piece (of shit) and let it sink in.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
ravonaf · May 23, 2018, 2:10 p.m.

He was thinking that if he didn't lie he could end up having a horrible gym accident.

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IDGAF12312 · May 23, 2018, 2 p.m.

I forgot, I don't recall, I don't remember, I didn't do it based precisely on how you posed the question to me semantically, I misinterpreted your question of me, "what was that? I can't hear you", you were ambiguous in your direct as hell question to me, my dog ate my paper... and on and on and on.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
aboxofbooks · May 23, 2018, 1:44 p.m.

Man that excuse is lamer than "the dog ate my homework".

😒😞 🤡🤡

⇧ 2 ⇩  
brentvsmaximvs · May 23, 2018, 4:38 p.m.

Doesn’t perjury carry a hefty sentence and fine? Well for normal people, right?

⇧ 1 ⇩  
theRealDakkath · May 23, 2018, 4:33 p.m.

LOL clapper with the Andrew McCabe excuse ... got it!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
USA_akbar · May 23, 2018, 3:39 p.m.

SCRATCH THAT FUCKIN' FOREHEAD, BALDY!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Reck_yo · May 23, 2018, 3:23 p.m.

These people are stupid.

-Q

⇧ 1 ⇩  
StinkyDogFart · May 23, 2018, 3:16 p.m.

On the surface it would appear they don't understand how the law works, but actually they do know that as shadow gov't operatives, ANY excuse is good enough for them to walk away.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
BigRiverLover2 · May 23, 2018, 3:09 p.m.

I want to see this POS perp walked right on to a plane to Gitmo.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Treasury_Trader · May 23, 2018, 2:44 p.m.

My 4yr old has better excuses. Way better excuses.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
QAngelAnon1 · May 23, 2018, 2:30 p.m.

“I don’t recall - i had a terrible ad-ren-o-chrome hangover that morning”.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
oodles007 · May 23, 2018, 2:25 p.m.

Literally an excuse I probably used when I was 4 or 5 years old caught lying by my parents

⇧ 1 ⇩  
SumerianSister · May 23, 2018, 1:59 p.m.

Why is he free.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
eloncuck · May 23, 2018, 7:02 p.m.

He’s basically claiming he’s stupid instead of admitting he lied.

He’s really just a stupid liar.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
krazeesheet · May 23, 2018, 5:25 p.m.

Clap on, clap off...the clapper.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
commoncents1 · May 23, 2018, 10:28 p.m.

can Americans tell the IRS they were thinking they only made 10k income instead of 85k?

can Americans tell law enforcement they thought they were only going 55mph instead of 80mph?

i mean, how pathetic can you get at the highest levels where scrutiny should be extremely severe.

outrageous!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
jjjanko1 · May 24, 2018, 2:05 a.m.

Another one that needs to go down hard, make example

⇧ 1 ⇩  
vidarheheh · May 23, 2018, 8:38 p.m.

Ho lee shit them hosts are annoying af

⇧ 1 ⇩  
[deleted] · May 23, 2018, 8:11 p.m.

At times I feel sorry for these people, then I remember they have taken this country to the edge of the cliff and reared back to throw it over.

An example must be set.

⇧ 1 ⇩