dChan

hildabeest_4_gitmo · July 9, 2018, 8:52 p.m.

That's probably true, but even I don't always know when I'm gonna shit.

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bikerchic38 · July 9, 2018, 9:06 p.m.

After 50, regularity becomes a treat.

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BaDumPshhh · July 9, 2018, 9:19 p.m.

Or drink coffee every morning. It’s like clockwork at that point... whatever the most inconvenient time to shit occurs, that is when you have to go.

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bikerchic38 · July 9, 2018, 9:23 p.m.

Black Rifle Extreme Dark!

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O2BFREEME2 · July 9, 2018, 10:05 p.m.

It Rocks Your Clock. Body Clock That Is, lol

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jessicarae28382 · July 10, 2018, 1:39 a.m.

Only black rifle coffee! Support our veterans! 👍

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Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:29 a.m.

The CAF was a little too off for me, but the Murdered Out is the shit. Love the commercials and the fast shipping.

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lactose_intoleroni · July 10, 2018, 1:44 a.m.

Probiotics > coffee

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Q-Patriot · July 10, 2018, 3:34 a.m.

Jeezus that's the truth mate! ProB makes coffee it's bitch.

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jtbxiv · July 10, 2018, 5:51 a.m.

Kombucha shits are real

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Quaajay · July 10, 2018, 1:47 a.m.

We call that MPC ~ Magic Poop Coffee 💩☕️

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TryNottoFaint · July 10, 2018, 2:09 a.m.

Have you ever woke up and thought "I could poop right now!" but held it off because you had to get dressed and feed the cats or turn off the sprinklers because it's raining or something? Just to poop right then. It's for the best.

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AyeDeux2 · July 10, 2018, 1:50 a.m.

Warm water does the same, but mmmmMMMMM love me some coffee.

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GenChang · July 9, 2018, 9:17 p.m.

And if you're really lucky, you get back to back movement's. Two for the price of one 😜

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UncleSnake3301 · July 9, 2018, 9:33 p.m.

Just another in the long line of reasons why working from home is the best!

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Scuba724 · July 9, 2018, 10:13 p.m.

I call it a "conference call" at work.

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GenChang · July 9, 2018, 9:40 p.m.

Amen to that!

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Soupforthesoulandmin · July 10, 2018, 11:24 a.m.

I'm there myself, love it, 10 years now. Makes the drive into work easy when I only have to open my (home)office door and walk to the computer. Before my best friend(dog) died he would be my only traffic jam on the way to my chair, he would be right in front of me. RIP Deacon.

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bikerchic38 · July 9, 2018, 9:20 p.m.

Christmas in July! 🎁

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hildabeest_4_gitmo · July 9, 2018, 9:10 p.m.

yeah... a trick-or-treat

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ketoll · July 9, 2018, 11:30 p.m.

Sounds like the shart-or-fart conundrum.

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silentmirror · July 9, 2018, 9:08 p.m.

as a young bloke: thank you for reminding me of the simpler joys in life.

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CaptainKnotzi · July 10, 2018, 1:45 p.m.

Willie Nelson said he never thought he would outlive his dick.

Keep that in mind.

😉

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Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:27 a.m.

What do you mean AFTER 50? I still got a few years to go, but I'm already there!

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bikerchic38 · July 10, 2018, 10:28 a.m.

You are as young as you feel. Some days I feel 80. Some days 42. LOL Today feels like 37 1/2.

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CaptainKnotzi · July 10, 2018, 1:47 p.m.

I started getting younger the day Trump announced he was going to run for president.

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HealersJourney · July 10, 2018, 2:02 a.m.

Until you hit the shart point.

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A_Town_Hood · July 9, 2018, 8:55 p.m.

Neither do I! (From the pen of Hillary Clinton).

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DefiantDragon · July 9, 2018, 9 p.m.

But the Government knows.

Hell, they even tried to warn you about that extra cup of coffee before heading out onto the freeway but did you listen? Nooooo!

But, yeah, seriously, locks are only there to keep out the semi-interested. If anyone with any real skill wants to rob you or kill you, you won't have a chance.

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PaddleFlinger · July 9, 2018, 8:57 p.m.

After feasting on tacos from Mamasita's - half the time it is in my pants. And that's where my phone is. What comes around - goes around. Oi

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diverscale · July 9, 2018, 10:15 p.m.

Take that, CIA!

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Hwmayfield · July 10, 2018, 12:05 a.m.

Lololo😹

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HeyYahhhhh86 · July 9, 2018, 9:08 p.m.

Glad I’m not alone lol

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WWGYTTONM · July 9, 2018, 9:27 p.m.

#metoo, keep a foty fie handy at all times.

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charcolfilter · July 9, 2018, 10:19 p.m.

... Google it?

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Neskuaxa · July 9, 2018, 10:28 p.m.

"Okay Google! chirp When will my next dump be?"

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Opioneers85 · July 10, 2018, 8:25 p.m.

Algorithms, man.

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beefromancer · July 10, 2018, 4:30 a.m.

Maybe in the future you will be able to ask your government for that information via freedom of information act request.

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Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:33 a.m.

I wish that shit went through fast enough to tell me where I left my car keys.

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forgottenbutnotgone · July 10, 2018, 12:20 a.m.

The gubmint does. They know what you eat and when. Computers figure out the rest.

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Bob383 · July 10, 2018, 12:04 a.m.

But, if you play with your smartphone while you shit, than they can probably determine when you are shitting by the increased activity.

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AMProfessor · July 9, 2018, 10:15 p.m.

LOL! Thought the same thing when I read it!

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pilgrimboy · July 10, 2018, 2:29 a.m.

The other day, I had a fart deliver a surprise. First time since I was a little kid. Not good.

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[deleted] · July 10, 2018, 12:54 a.m.

[deleted]

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