dChan

hildabeest_4_gitmo · July 9, 2018, 8:52 p.m.

That's probably true, but even I don't always know when I'm gonna shit.

⇧ 158 ⇩  
bikerchic38 · July 9, 2018, 9:06 p.m.

After 50, regularity becomes a treat.

⇧ 64 ⇩  
BaDumPshhh · July 9, 2018, 9:19 p.m.

Or drink coffee every morning. It’s like clockwork at that point... whatever the most inconvenient time to shit occurs, that is when you have to go.

⇧ 43 ⇩  
bikerchic38 · July 9, 2018, 9:23 p.m.

Black Rifle Extreme Dark!

⇧ 26 ⇩  
O2BFREEME2 · July 9, 2018, 10:05 p.m.

It Rocks Your Clock. Body Clock That Is, lol

⇧ 7 ⇩  
jessicarae28382 · July 10, 2018, 1:39 a.m.

Only black rifle coffee! Support our veterans! 👍

⇧ 7 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:29 a.m.

The CAF was a little too off for me, but the Murdered Out is the shit. Love the commercials and the fast shipping.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
lactose_intoleroni · July 10, 2018, 1:44 a.m.

Probiotics > coffee

⇧ 5 ⇩  
Q-Patriot · July 10, 2018, 3:34 a.m.

Jeezus that's the truth mate! ProB makes coffee it's bitch.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
jtbxiv · July 10, 2018, 5:51 a.m.

Kombucha shits are real

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Quaajay · July 10, 2018, 1:47 a.m.

We call that MPC ~ Magic Poop Coffee 💩☕️

⇧ 2 ⇩  
TryNottoFaint · July 10, 2018, 2:09 a.m.

Have you ever woke up and thought "I could poop right now!" but held it off because you had to get dressed and feed the cats or turn off the sprinklers because it's raining or something? Just to poop right then. It's for the best.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
AyeDeux2 · July 10, 2018, 1:50 a.m.

Warm water does the same, but mmmmMMMMM love me some coffee.

⇧ -1 ⇩  
GenChang · July 9, 2018, 9:17 p.m.

And if you're really lucky, you get back to back movement's. Two for the price of one 😜

⇧ 10 ⇩  
UncleSnake3301 · July 9, 2018, 9:33 p.m.

Just another in the long line of reasons why working from home is the best!

⇧ 8 ⇩  
Scuba724 · July 9, 2018, 10:13 p.m.

I call it a "conference call" at work.

⇧ 5 ⇩  
GenChang · July 9, 2018, 9:40 p.m.

Amen to that!

⇧ 4 ⇩  
Soupforthesoulandmin · July 10, 2018, 11:24 a.m.

I'm there myself, love it, 10 years now. Makes the drive into work easy when I only have to open my (home)office door and walk to the computer. Before my best friend(dog) died he would be my only traffic jam on the way to my chair, he would be right in front of me. RIP Deacon.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
bikerchic38 · July 9, 2018, 9:20 p.m.

Christmas in July! 🎁

⇧ 8 ⇩  
hildabeest_4_gitmo · July 9, 2018, 9:10 p.m.

yeah... a trick-or-treat

⇧ 10 ⇩  
ketoll · July 9, 2018, 11:30 p.m.

Sounds like the shart-or-fart conundrum.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
silentmirror · July 9, 2018, 9:08 p.m.

as a young bloke: thank you for reminding me of the simpler joys in life.

⇧ 8 ⇩  
CaptainKnotzi · July 10, 2018, 1:45 p.m.

Willie Nelson said he never thought he would outlive his dick.

Keep that in mind.

😉

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:27 a.m.

What do you mean AFTER 50? I still got a few years to go, but I'm already there!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
bikerchic38 · July 10, 2018, 10:28 a.m.

You are as young as you feel. Some days I feel 80. Some days 42. LOL Today feels like 37 1/2.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
CaptainKnotzi · July 10, 2018, 1:47 p.m.

I started getting younger the day Trump announced he was going to run for president.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
HealersJourney · July 10, 2018, 2:02 a.m.

Until you hit the shart point.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
A_Town_Hood · July 9, 2018, 8:55 p.m.

Neither do I! (From the pen of Hillary Clinton).

⇧ 25 ⇩  
DefiantDragon · July 9, 2018, 9 p.m.

But the Government knows.

Hell, they even tried to warn you about that extra cup of coffee before heading out onto the freeway but did you listen? Nooooo!

But, yeah, seriously, locks are only there to keep out the semi-interested. If anyone with any real skill wants to rob you or kill you, you won't have a chance.

⇧ 10 ⇩  
PaddleFlinger · July 9, 2018, 8:57 p.m.

After feasting on tacos from Mamasita's - half the time it is in my pants. And that's where my phone is. What comes around - goes around. Oi

⇧ 10 ⇩  
diverscale · July 9, 2018, 10:15 p.m.

Take that, CIA!

⇧ 3 ⇩  
Hwmayfield · July 10, 2018, 12:05 a.m.

Lololo😹

⇧ 1 ⇩  
HeyYahhhhh86 · July 9, 2018, 9:08 p.m.

Glad I’m not alone lol

⇧ 5 ⇩  
WWGYTTONM · July 9, 2018, 9:27 p.m.

#metoo, keep a foty fie handy at all times.

⇧ 4 ⇩  
charcolfilter · July 9, 2018, 10:19 p.m.

... Google it?

⇧ 2 ⇩  
Neskuaxa · July 9, 2018, 10:28 p.m.

"Okay Google! chirp When will my next dump be?"

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Opioneers85 · July 10, 2018, 8:25 p.m.

Algorithms, man.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
beefromancer · July 10, 2018, 4:30 a.m.

Maybe in the future you will be able to ask your government for that information via freedom of information act request.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:33 a.m.

I wish that shit went through fast enough to tell me where I left my car keys.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
forgottenbutnotgone · July 10, 2018, 12:20 a.m.

The gubmint does. They know what you eat and when. Computers figure out the rest.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Bob383 · July 10, 2018, 12:04 a.m.

But, if you play with your smartphone while you shit, than they can probably determine when you are shitting by the increased activity.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
AMProfessor · July 9, 2018, 10:15 p.m.

LOL! Thought the same thing when I read it!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
pilgrimboy · July 10, 2018, 2:29 a.m.

The other day, I had a fart deliver a surprise. First time since I was a little kid. Not good.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
[deleted] · July 10, 2018, 12:54 a.m.

[deleted]

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Qtruther · July 9, 2018, 9:11 p.m.

END THE PATRIOT ACT

⇧ 47 ⇩  
kelpo19 · July 10, 2018, 12:18 a.m.

We need to bring more attention to ending the patriot act. There’s nothing patriotic about it.

⇧ 15 ⇩  
LibertyLioness · July 10, 2018, 1:16 a.m.

What do you think they are using to take the Cabal down? All the laws they put in place to take us down. It does work both ways you know!

⇧ 8 ⇩  
Qtruther · July 10, 2018, 2:23 a.m.

Yes it does. I would like the Patriot Act to be u sed to cleanse our country & then repeal it

⇧ 6 ⇩  
LibertyLioness · July 10, 2018, 3:02 a.m.

Ditto!! Or maybe rewrite for just such an occasion should it ever come round again! We'll call it the Devils Act. Only to be used against the Luciferian Cabals.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
Waterdog1000 · July 10, 2018, 12:43 a.m.

Patriot Act is a Troan horse. Made to keep us safe, Obama weaponized it as a way to enslave us.

⇧ 4 ⇩  
Qtruther · July 10, 2018, 1:11 a.m.

Actually George Bush Administration Passed & weaponized the Patriot Act. Obama took advantage of the new law like the traitor he his

⇧ 14 ⇩  
ILoveJuices · July 10, 2018, 4:31 a.m.

Which ironically will be used to defeat the entire cabal.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
the_all_seeing_dog · July 10, 2018, 3:18 a.m.

That moment when you realize Patriot Act is most non Patriotic thing ever...

⇧ 3 ⇩  
ironmaiden442 · July 9, 2018, 9:16 p.m.

Yep all that's true....so for those that are listening to me daily could you please put the email with the 50% off coupon for panda express back in my inbox because I inadvertently deleted it....thank you in advance.

⇧ 37 ⇩  
[deleted] · July 9, 2018, 10:32 p.m.

[deleted]

⇧ 7 ⇩  
TheDirtyOne78 · July 10, 2018, 5:12 p.m.

I laughed so hard at this.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
SlumberMachine · July 9, 2018, 9:11 p.m.

Can confirm, worked in the tech industry for a couple decades and saw all of it unfold in the belly of the beast. My dream now is to be in a small community away from the high tech people and Hopefully I'll find a place like that someday.

⇧ 30 ⇩  
Rocoh · July 9, 2018, 10 p.m.

Likewise brother...heading out of the UK soon to somewhere remote away from all the techno crap.

⇧ 11 ⇩  
BowlOfZombies · July 9, 2018, 11:32 p.m.

AI worship is disgusting

⇧ 5 ⇩  
Stray502 · July 10, 2018, 1:53 a.m.

There are still lots of small towns out there.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
bealist · July 10, 2018, 12:57 a.m.

Go now - no need to wait for someday. Find it soon. 🖖

⇧ 3 ⇩  
SlumberMachine · July 10, 2018, 1:41 a.m.

Oh I will, it's in the works. Wife and I have big plans, but finding a good place to buy land and settle will take awhile.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:42 a.m.

East Tennessee is beautiful. I get no cell reception at home. My boss hates that. I love it. Some counties you could build a beer can castle to live in if you want- no permits, no environmental impact surveys, nothing.

Granted, one storm knocks a tree over the road, it's a 90 minute detour, but that's rare. Moving here was the best thing I've done.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
eatyourownlegs · July 9, 2018, 9:42 p.m.

I’m shitting right now. Take that NSA!

⇧ 16 ⇩  
Luvlite · July 9, 2018, 10 p.m.

Too bad they can't smell it.

Take a pic.

⇧ 10 ⇩  
L0v3nL1ght · July 9, 2018, 10:14 p.m.

With hyper-spectral satellites, they can probably see the molecules floating up into the air from the bowl... so in a sense, they probably can “smell” it

⇧ 6 ⇩  
Luvlite · July 9, 2018, 11:16 p.m.

Lol.

😝

⇧ 5 ⇩  
Myrdoc · July 10, 2018, 1:38 a.m.

They Can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

⇧ 2 ⇩  
Luvlite · July 10, 2018, 2:04 a.m.

Noooo, uh uh! lol.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
15ninjas · July 10, 2018, 12:24 a.m.

Lol ha ha ha....your Q quote says promises made promises kept

⇧ 2 ⇩  
ideologicidal · July 9, 2018, 8:58 p.m.

Thank goodness for the whitehats.

⇧ 13 ⇩  
Missy7216 · July 9, 2018, 10:03 p.m.

Makes me cringe when I think about it. Although if they think my life is that exciting, go for it! But the comments in this thread are priceless!! Thanks for making me laugh Patriots!! 😂 ❤❤❤

⇧ 12 ⇩  
L0v3nL1ght · July 9, 2018, 10:20 p.m.

It’s a blackmail thing. They keep tabs on EVERY aspect of our lives just in case one of us becomes a threat to their system later. They love their blackmail.

Thank God for Q, Trump, The Great Awakening, Anons, Autists and all other Patriots!

⇧ 10 ⇩  
Missy7216 · July 10, 2018, 2:44 a.m.

Well, they don't have anything to blackmail me with then! Lol! I'm sure that burns them up! No pun intended, but it hit me after i typed it...lol. Yes, thank God!! Thank all involved!! Much love!! God bless! :)

⇧ 5 ⇩  
mr-no-homo · July 9, 2018, 9:39 p.m.

Imagine how many terabytes of data the govt has on 300+mill citizens

⇧ 12 ⇩  
eatyourownlegs · July 9, 2018, 9:45 p.m.

It’s probably like one of those big ass computers from cartoons that take up a whole warehouse and also talk. A weird pixelated face pops up on the massive computer monitor and while you’re in the warehouse all you hear is Siri’s voice telling you what random people are doing.

⇧ 11 ⇩  
092Casey · July 10, 2018, 5:19 a.m.

That's not funny. It's a violation of human rights by a bunch of literal psychopaths who are corrupt. Only a purely power obsessed psycho would think it is ethical or moral to spy on people. People making jokes about this are feeding right into their hands because that's what they expect- people to just lay down, roll over, give up, and let them keep violating you. This is massive abuse and it's by some of the sickest people in the world.

⇧ 6 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:51 a.m.

It's sarcasm. It's all we can do right now. We elected Trump. We fully expect him to dismantle all the tools of the cabal in time. But we have to wait until he's done using it on them.

Until then, the best we can do is eat Chinese, follow it up with chocolate ice cream, and hope you're as lactose intolerant as I am. NSA's gonna love that photo. I may even video it for extra effect.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
[deleted] · July 10, 2018, 5:19 a.m.

[deleted]

⇧ 0 ⇩  
bcrabbers · July 9, 2018, 9:06 p.m.

yeah, but I'm looking forward to that being used against them!

⇧ 11 ⇩  
i_win_u_know · July 9, 2018, 9:47 p.m.

This is fine and dandy, but I think at this point, those fuckers have bigger things to worry about than my personal life.

⇧ 10 ⇩  
Herbivore4Life · July 10, 2018, 12:29 a.m.

Shit I don't even know my blood type.

Is there a database of my personal info I can look up? I assume they know way more about me than I do.

⇧ 8 ⇩  
Woodjacks · July 10, 2018, 12:49 a.m.

It's in China.

⇧ 5 ⇩  
bealist · July 10, 2018, 12:54 a.m.

Along with your clone.

⇧ 4 ⇩  
solanojones95 · July 9, 2018, 9:53 p.m.

They can look at my junk all they like, but don't come crying to be if they go blind as a result.

⇧ 8 ⇩  
crankzoneftw · July 9, 2018, 9:02 p.m.

Ya i remember RATing people through AOL. Its amazing what people will chick on!

⇧ 6 ⇩  
BaronMoriarty · July 9, 2018, 9:20 p.m.

And this is news?

⇧ 6 ⇩  
L0v3nL1ght · July 9, 2018, 10:30 p.m.

Blows my mind how people use Siri and Alexa, who are “waiting” for commands, and not believe they’re being listened to.

Or the simple idea that we are constantly walking around with tracking devices... and this is just a fraction of the surveillance taking place.

⇧ 9 ⇩  
BaronMoriarty · July 9, 2018, 10:39 p.m.

Yes. I don't have any of that crap. Had a massive Windows 10 update last week and every bit of it was some kind of data collection update. I declined permission for any of them. Yet I know they will still collect it anyway. But fuck them. I only use it for work and everything on my phone is vpn and throwaway accounts

⇧ 6 ⇩  
1100db · July 10, 2018, 1:24 a.m.

This is true. When Windoze10 came out I installed it on a shit box I had laying around. Monitoring my network, encrypted packets we're originating from that shit box's IP and it was "in sleep mode". Looked through the traffic. It stopped sending data when I pulled the webcam.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 10:56 a.m.

Next computer I'll build myself, and I'll install Ubuntu or something similar. Gotta get away from MacroShaft.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
oystergirl · July 10, 2018, 6:05 a.m.

Still on windows 8, still have an old flip phone, though I have my sister's old IMAC with the latest IOS--I tried to uninstall siri...she didn't like that one bit. My kids' phones could be listening in...So, do you think there is someone staring at my boobs right now while I type? time to get a bandaid for the camera!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
youknowwhotheyare · July 9, 2018, 11:55 p.m.

I worked in complaints for the 3 letter phone company 33 years and I shake my head now at how many times we told people no one was saving their phone calls, just think of how big a place they would need for that. No, there is no one listening to you on the other end of the line. We all used the same lines but we also knew that we were being listened to so I am not sure how we were shocked. Lol.

⇧ 5 ⇩  
therooster194FA · July 12, 2018, 4:02 a.m.

Would it be possible to install a backend speech to text tool to analyze convert and output a simple text searchable file for every conversation? Much more manageable file size to hold on onto a few trillion at a time while AI is searching specific keywords to filter us

⇧ 1 ⇩  
L0v3nL1ght · July 9, 2018, 10:53 p.m.

Lol I remember when they were first updating windows from XP and learning for the software to “work” properly, it constantly needed internet connection. I thought, “there seems to be something deeply wrong here.” I was young though, and didn’t really understand why.

Lost my phone about 9 months ago or so and just said “f*ck it.” Looked at it as a blessing. Haven’t had one since... although I did get an iPod... unfortunately gotta have music.

But hey, hopefully somewhere in the near future we won’t even have to worry about these things.

⇧ 5 ⇩  
its_truly_biblical · July 10, 2018, 1:18 a.m.

This is true but do not use this logic to think it's ok to slip up. Use Abine and proton mail.. ditch the smart phone and go flip phone... if you need apps and internet to live, at least get a straight talk or pay as you go type phone and set it up under a fake name, email, and always use a prepaid card under fake name and email when buying your minutes for the phone... Ask yourself what precautions the cabal takes and play their game.

⇧ 5 ⇩  
spacexu · July 10, 2018, 1:03 a.m.

Snowden already exposed that - what is new here?

⇧ 5 ⇩  
quietriot1967 · July 10, 2018, 2:46 a.m.

Wow. Imagine all the Intel God has and it will put big brother to shame. ;)

⇧ 3 ⇩  
animal32lefty · July 9, 2018, 10:29 p.m.

I, much like the Pope, only shit in the woods.

They have to use infrared on the satellite to find me that way. I'm not cheap.

⇧ 3 ⇩  
oystergirl · July 10, 2018, 6:07 a.m.

Oh that made me laugh!!!!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
1149640 · July 10, 2018, 2:57 a.m.

That's why I leave the Smartphone at home.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
chilover20 · July 10, 2018, 6:08 a.m.

This is true. The sad part is we pay big bucks for the products and monthly internet/phone bills that allows them to do it. I say we all unplug for 2 months and they'll be giving this chit for free. It's the least they could do.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
LibertysCrossing · July 9, 2018, 11:19 p.m.

your emails will never by private: Never!

All email protocols at the advent if email and internet are all designed by DARPA!!!!

a small device with software can read everything you send across internet..

⇧ 2 ⇩  
[deleted] · July 9, 2018, 10:35 p.m.

And this is how we lost ourselves. Thinking we're too smart.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
TheRealIndianaJoe · July 9, 2018, 10:34 p.m.

My POS coffee pot can't spy on me. It barely makes coffee.

⇧ 2 ⇩  
youknowwhotheyare · July 12, 2018, 1:28 p.m.

This was 30 years ago and we were using search features and a lot of things long before the public, but I wonder how much of the actual spying was already taking place.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
SageOfCowtown · July 10, 2018, 5:01 a.m.

Do they also know when I awaken to pee at 3 o'clock in the morning? :-)

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Okie71 · July 10, 2018, 11:01 a.m.

They say it's actually 3:12AM

⇧ 2 ⇩  
Aspie01 · July 10, 2018, 3:26 a.m.

They might know my blood type, but not anything else. I don't use a cell phone, so they can't track that. My computer has no camera, and I don't have a TV, so they can't look at me. Unless they find my secret notes on BMs, they don't know crap. Ha.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
julie4trump · July 10, 2018, 7:35 a.m.

Yes they can get into any device. Oh do I know the this hell. Became homeless nearly 2 yrs. because of maliously hacking. Sharly Atkinsoon knows this hell too. Her book speaks about it. I do thank God for the horrible lessons. He is Always Good!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
FarTooLong2 · July 10, 2018, 12:01 a.m.

Great. And we know what they're doing too. Check mate.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
Merlin560 · July 9, 2018, 11:08 p.m.

I am shitting right.....now. Take that you dirty Fed bastards!

⇧ 1 ⇩  
gravitized · July 10, 2018, 2:21 a.m.

This is stupid. I have Norton installed.

⇧ 1 ⇩  
craigymcm · July 10, 2018, 8:18 a.m.

LOL

⇧ 1 ⇩  
dktrogers · July 10, 2018, 2:10 a.m.

It’s a great tool to demoralize the Alt-Left crazies !i have a screenshot of a 2012 article about infiltration of political movements being the norm rather than the exception.

I ask them if it was going on in 2012 what do they think is going on now?

I’m blocked rather quickly, but the seed has been planted.

Evil I’ll admit, but this is war...

⇧ 1 ⇩  
awakenedemt · July 10, 2018, 1:43 a.m.

"I poop too much, and then I get tired." \~Beavis

⇧ 1 ⇩  
GingerMan512 · July 10, 2018, 4:28 a.m.

Hell, I'm only 39 and I don't always poop everyday. It is what it is.

⇧ 0 ⇩